You know what I’m giving you for Christmas? That’s right. Me. You’ve been pining all year, wondering how you’re going to fix up your new apartment or land that hottie that just started working in the company’s mailroom. Don’t worry, I’m here. The Hommemaker. I’ll make everything better and teach you how to do the stuff you were previously too dumb to do. Well, probably not. Really I’ll just talk a lot and make you feel like your life is slightly less empty than you thought it was before. That’s what I’m here for. Merry Christmas!