Homme Movies!

Dear Reader,
You know, people often ask me, “How do you stay so current on the latest pictures at the cinema!?!” Well, I’ll tell you. I don’t actually watch them. A true Hommemaker doesn’t have time for anything aside from making perfect meals, wearing perfect clothes, and excelling at his perfect job. Thus, I watch Youtube trailers for films and pretend I saw them at the theatre. This gives me ample topics to discuss at dinner parties, art openings, and fundraisers for the most influential of America’s politicians. Because watching these previews and faking knowledge of film has proven useful to me, I’d like to impart some of my film critiques onto you. Feel free to use any of my observations at your next debutant ball…

This week’s film is The King’s Speech


When people ask you why you watched The King’s Speech, make sure to tell them it was because you heard a wonderful interview with the director on Terry Gross (yes I know the show is called ‘Fresh Air’ but real fans know it’s the Terry Gross show because she is a genius). Did you ever notice that in every movie about British people they always use trilling string music? I was thoroughly disappointed when I studied abroad in London and didn’t hear any ridiculous string music. No one ran around lamenting about their confusion over whether should marry for love or money either, which is what I’ve always expected of them based on the dumb Jane Austen movies my mom always made me watch growing up. The plot synopsis of this movie is pretty obvious, Colin Firth has a speech impediment and he’s, like, the king or whatever and then he goes to speech therapy and they fix it and then everyone loves him (cue triumphant trumpet music). It seems like a pretty heartwarming movie, and you should probably tell people you enjoyed it or they will think you’re a complete idiot. That being said, everyone I know who saw this movie said it was boring.

Love,
Orlando

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