Whut Glamour: Colour Stripes!

Dear Installation Artist Jim Lambie, I have always loved your graphic stripe installations and have had them on my mind recently. On Secrets, we’re doing a few family rooms and are looking for exciting ways to incorporate colour, so naturally I thought of your wonderful striped floors. I highly doubt we would ever get to do something like this in one of our makeover houses (it might be a little too crazeballz for most peoples’ taste) but someday when I buy my own house (read: in like 20 years when the market has completely collapsed and I’ve saved up enough…

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Hair Do?

Dear The Boy in This Picture, I think you hair is awesome, but I highly doubt I could get away with it. Oh well. Love, Orlando PS: I found this image on my favorite website in the whole world, Hedi Slimane Diary. I will be posting more from Hedi in the future.

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Hot Couture: Belmain

Dear Balmain, I love your glamorous new fall collection for hommes. Too bad I’ll never be wealthy enough to afford it and it’s highly unlikely that it will ever show up at Ross where I, like, actually shop. Love, Orlando PS: View a slideshow of your delightful collection here.

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Five Haute Things for the Homme: White Bookcases!

Dear Diary, For this week’s episode of Secrets From A Stylist, Emily had me research some modern, minimalist pieces for our client. This got me thinking about white bookcases and shelving systems, which I have always liked. In my living space, I tend to use a lot of white because it keeps everything bright and airy and prevents seasonal affective disorder. A lot of Angelenos get seasonal affective disorder because we are so ridiculously spoiled by the glorious light of summer (10 months out of the year) and we cannot handle it when it isn’t bright and sunny for 15…

Whut Glamour: Business Cards!

Dear Misako Rothery, Thank you so much for the luxurious business cards you designed and printed for me at your wonderful New York design studio,┬áTo You, From Me. I totally love my delightfully thick business cards and the classic design you gave them (which was exactly what I wanted). I’ll let the cards speak for themselves, but I’m totally obsessed with them. Love, Orlando They even came in cute packaging: Front: Back:

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Homme Sweet Homme

Dear Diary, This is the most attractive man I have ever seen in my whole entire life. The face, the hair, the moustache. The bright tanktop. The rainbow surfboard. True love. Love, Self PS: I found him on the website of one of my favorite clothing companies, Warriors of Radness.

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Homme Movies!

Dear Reader, You know, people often ask me, “How do you stay so current on the latest pictures at the cinema!?!” Well, I’ll tell you. I don’t actually watch them. A true Hommemaker doesn’t have time for anything aside from making perfect meals, wearing perfect clothes, and excelling at his perfect job. Thus, I watch Youtube trailers for films and pretend I saw them at the theatre. This gives me ample topics to discuss at dinner parties, art openings, and fundraisers for the most influential of America’s politicians. Because watching these previews and faking knowledge of film has proven useful…

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week!

Dear Reader, Everyone knows that being a good Hommemaker means being a Joan Didion fan. I spent many a day crying my eyes out whilst reading Where I Was From and The Year of Magical Thinking (“Tragical Thinking” is more like it!). Anyone who I am facebook friends with knows that one of my favorite pastimes is making up fake Joan Didion quotes, mainly because she seems so proper and intellectual (like me!) and imagining her saying anything crazy or stupid is absolutely hilarious. Thus, my weekly column of fake Joan quotes. Here’s this week’s quote: “I can’t believe I…

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