Monthly Archives: January 2011

Whut Glamour: Neo80z Crop Shirts

Dear Gay Calvin Klein,

The current 90 degree weather in Los Angeles has me thinking about spring fashion so I decided to go online and check out what have you in store for the next few months. The most exciting and ridiculous part of your collection is the 80s inspired cropped off shirts. Since my childhood, I have had a secret obsession with crop tops. When I was little, they were all the rage. The fact that they’ve just been revived is the most exciting thing that has ever happened in my whole entire life. They’re not quite as casual/sporty as the ones I remember from my youth, but they do have the same sense of playfulness. I highly doubt dudes are going to start wearing these all over town, but I wouldn’t mind it if they did. Just as long as they look like these Ken dolls:

View whole Calvin Klein Spring 2011 collection here.

Love,
Orlando

PS: These are more like the 80s crop tops I remember:

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Too Cool For Azul

Dear Frida Kahlo,

This week Emily and I were discussing blue and I naturally thought of your amazing homestead, La Casa Azul. La Casa Azul is the house you were raised in that is now a museum dedicated to your life and your hilarious and lighthearted paintings. Thinking about your blue casa made me start thinking about other blue casas, so then I went on the interwebs and LOOK what I found!:

La Casa Azul (Frida Kahlo Museum):

Other gorgeous blue houses:

I like the bright color of this one:

I’m pretty sure the makeup artist from Blue Man Group lives here:

I love this one. Wouldn’t mind having it as a weekend house:

I love a good craftsman house, and I love it even more when it looks like a smurf:

A secret fantasy of mine is to live in a cabin that looks like it could implode at any moment, especially if it has a bright blue wall:

I like this whacky house, and its whacky color:

Someday, I’ll have a blue house. And a meaningful committed relationship. Someday.

Love,
Orlando

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Gladvertising: Levi’s

Dear Levi’s,

I have been raving about you to everyone on set because it has recently come to my attention that your combination of good product and amazing lifestyle branding have completely won me over. While I was living in New York last year, I went to the movies and your “Go Forth” advertisement featuring a Walt Whitman poem was played before the previews began. That ad (below) is probably the most beautiful ad I’ve ever watched. It’s sexy, raw, and showcases perfectly the glamour and adventure of the West. It made me miss California. The images of crazy kids running around having fun in the wilderness are totally exciting and remind me of my childhood in Yosemite National Park, playing with rocks and twigs every day after school. I also loved how lively and positive these ads are, a call to action to get people inspired (about buying jeans). Here are some of the print ads from the “Go Forth” campaign:

Here’s that amazing commercial I mentioned before:

And another pretty commercial:

And then there’s the more recent “We Are All Workers” campaign, which isn’t quite as visually appealing but is tremendously relevant. I love the way it references Dust Bowl era photography without seeming to demean it. There’s a sense of respect for the travails of Americans during the Depression while somehow glamorizing the fashion and pragmatism of the era. The whole thing feels very Steinbeckian, as if the images were film stills from “East of Eden” or “The Grapes of Wrath.” The literary and cinematic quality of the images gives them an intelligent aura, which makes me want to buy stuff. Here are some of the “We Are All Workers” ads:

And one of the (gorgeously photographed) commercials:

Love,
Orlando

PS: These campaigns were produced by Wieden & Kennedy

PSS: In addition to having awesome ads, you guys also make the best jeans. A tip to the wise: never pay full price. Levi’s stuff always goes on sale and it’s always dirt cheap. Yet another reason I’ve fallen in love.

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Whut Glamour: Colour Stripes!

Dear Installation Artist Jim Lambie,

I have always loved your graphic stripe installations and have had them on my mind recently. On Secrets, we’re doing a few family rooms and are looking for exciting ways to incorporate colour, so naturally I thought of your wonderful striped floors. I highly doubt we would ever get to do something like this in one of our makeover houses (it might be a little too crazeballz for most peoples’ taste) but someday when I buy my own house (read: in like 20 years when the market has completely collapsed and I’ve saved up enough pennies to afford one), I’d like to have a pretty striped floor like this somewhere. I was under the impression that I was the first person in the world to think of installing these stripes in a residence, but a quick search on the internet shows that there are numerous (and beautiful) examples of colourstripes in homes. Here are some images of your work, Jim Lambie:


And a few (delightful) residential applications:


Totally into it.

Love,
Orlando

PS: I don’t normally spell “colours” like that but am doing so in honour of your Scottishness and out of a secret desire to sound wealthy. Sorry.

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Hair Do?

Dear The Boy in This Picture,

I think you hair is awesome, but I highly doubt I could get away with it. Oh well.

Love,
Orlando

PS: I found this image on my favorite website in the whole world, Hedi Slimane Diary. I will be posting more from Hedi in the future.

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Hot Couture: Belmain

Dear Balmain,

I love your glamorous new fall collection for hommes. Too bad I’ll never be wealthy enough to afford it and it’s highly unlikely that it will ever show up at Ross where I, like, actually shop.

Love,
Orlando

PS: View a slideshow of your delightful collection here.

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week!

Dear Joan Didion,

You said this:
“In Beverly Hills, it’s who you know, and I know everyone.” – Joan Didion
Just kidding, no you didn’t.

Love,
Orlando

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