Monthly Archives: February 2011

Whut Glamour: Bonnie Raitt!

Dear Counterpoint Records and Books,

Emily and I came by the other day to buy bargain books to fill a bookshelf and I also scored and found a Bonnie Raitt “Nick of Time” cassette tape that I played all the way to Big Bear last weekend. My parents had this CD when I was little and I remember listening to it in our first generation Ford Explorer as I was driven to the orthodontist and and into “town” to buy stuff. I feel like Bonnie Raitt is totally underrated and awesome. I haven’t listened to any of her new stuff but I love this song from “Nick of Time”:

A fun fact about Bonnie that not many people know is that she went to Harvard. Brains and big hair?!? What’s not to like? YAY!

Love,
Orlando

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I Hurt for a Yurt

Dear Diary,

I just got back from Big Bear and next week’s Secrets makeover is lodge-inspired, so I have the great outdoors on my mind. Naturally, this reminded me of my lifelong obsession with yurts and how I secretly want to flee the city and live in the middle of the woods all by myself, screaming obscenities and anyone who accidentally wanders onto my property and cooking canned beans over a fire pit. I love how much natural light these adorable structures let in during the daytime and how warm and cozy they seem at night (editor’s note: I have never been in a yurt. Sorry!). Here are some lovely images I found of yurts. Please let them inspire you to become an insane recluse like I plan to be. YAY!

And here’s a few from the glamourous Jill Roozenboom (Secrets Consulting Producer):

Love Always,
Self

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Hot Couture: Pringle of Scotland!

Dear Pringle of Scotland,

I like your Spring 2011 menswear for a few reasons. Firstly, I love that all your models have my haircut or a haircut to which I aspire. Second, I love the crazy layering going on. Thirdly, I love the minimalist color palette. You win!

This guy reminds me of me freshman year of high school, when I wanted to be all gothy and sullen:

I like this guy’s hair and I’m digging the big coat with little shorts idea. I think more people need to start wearing shorts more often.

I’m also into this electric blue color. Fun!

To view the rest of the Pringle Spring 2011 Menswear line, go here.

Love,
Orlando

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Fun With Art: The Blake Wright!

Dear The Blake Wright,

I came across your blog yesterday and I’m completely obsessed with it. It’s all fun illustrations and drawings and I love all of them. They are so clever and fun and delightful. Here are a few of my favorites:

Love,
Orlando

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Five Haute Things for the Homme: Sleeper Sofas!

Dear New Gross Apartment I Just Signed For Yesterday,

I saw you, you were disgusting, but I saw potential. I just signed a lease for an apartment at the base of the Hollywood Hills, two blocks north of the West Hollywood border. It’s right off Laurel Canyon, the longtime home of one of my heros, Joni Mitchell. To make a long story short, it’s a one bedroom (makeover story forthcoming) and I plan to use the living room as a guest bedroom when I have friends visiting from New York and the northern wilds of California, our great Golden State. My first big purchase is going to have to be a sleeper sofa, because as much as I love aerobeds, they are kind of a pain to set up. It’s like “Hey, it’s bedtime, I’m sleepy!” and then by the time you blow up the thing and put all the sheets/blankets on it you’re awake again from all the exercise. Anyway, I’ve always found sleeper sofas totally gross, but I have seen a few in passing that I thought were nice, so here they are:

Lubi Daybed from CB2

This one I just think is so cute and clever. It’s a daybed which seems like it could fit in at a psychotherapist’s office. Which is basically what my apartment becomes whenever a friend visits anyway.

Night and Day Convertible Sofa from Urban Outfitters

Who could be offended by this? It’s so simple and streamlined. Definitely under consideration…

Encore Sofa from Room & Board

I like this one because it says “What? I’m a sleeper sofa! Deal with it!” Instead of trying to act like it’s a big poufy sofa it admits that it’s just there so your friends and family can use your apartment like a free hotel, leaving behind a trail of untidiness and tears.

Natasha Comfort Sleeper from The Sofa Company

I like this one, but I kind of think it’s for girls so I wouldn’t want it for myself. But you can buy it if you want. If you’re a girl.

Twilight Sleeper Sofa from DWR

This is kind of like the rich uncle to the CB2 Lubi Daybed. This one is fancier, but that giant length-long pillow really prohibits any sort of psychoanalysis. Avoid if you have friends with a lot of emotions.

What I learned from doing this post is that I like mid-century stuff a lot more than I thought I did. I find myself attracted to the mid-centuriest of the sleeper sofas. Only time will tell which one I’ll actually get, but I can’t wait to get settled in my new apartment. Glamour.

Love,
Orlando

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Hollywood Diary: V-Day Party!

Dear Diary,

This past Saturday I had the immense pleasure of going to the funnest party in the history of time. It was a Valentines party called “Cupid’s Stupid” thrown by a 20-year-old Ken doll millionaire named GT Dave who played, like, a hugely instrumental role in the popularization of kombucha (a fermented tea drink with crazy health benefits…Read an article about it here).

This is what GT Dave looks like (swewn):

Here is the view from GT’s enormous Beverly Hills house:

I never like taking pictures of crowds at parties because no matter what you do they end up looking too crazy, so of all the pictures I took at Cupid’s Stupid I only like the one above. I mean, what an awful view, right? Poor guy. Luckily, they had a photo booth with fun props, including this actor who I paid to play my boyfriend:

So the party was basically 1000 gay men that looked like Ken dolls, my straight barber (who I am completely obsessed with because he’s so good), and Drew Droege, who did the most hilarious Chloë Sevigny performance ever (if you haven’t seen these you have to watch!). Here’s my favorite of Drew’s Chloë videos:

All in all, it was an incredibly entertaining and well produced evening. It didn’t hurt that all of my friends happened to be there. I’m always really fascinated by rich people who throw these kinds of parties because it’s so generous and awesome. I’m just very impressed with people who invite so many people into their homes and spend so much time, money, and energy preparing for them. It’s Hommemaking at its best! When I have my millions and I live in Beverly Hills, I’ll be like “Get your grubby little hands away from my original Picasso!”  Or perhaps “Aren’t you the person who was supposed to bring me a lemonade a half hour ago?!?” Someday…

Love,
Self

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Homme Sweet Homme: Brad Goreski!

Dear Brad,

I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I already did and then I saw this picture of you clad in 100% Levi’s. You are awesome, gorgeous, and one of my top style icons. Heartbeatz.

Love,
Orlando

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Pooltimez

Dear The Owner of Coffee Bean,

I am sitting in your West Hollywood location and it is ridiculously hot in here. And you wanna know what I think of when I’m hot, sweaty, and miserable? Pools! You know what else is hot? Global warming! Thus, I was excited to find this project done by a banking corporation to raise awareness about global warming. They printed large images of New York and applied them to the bottom of a pool, indicating that if we don’t do something to stop global warming we are all going to have to live underwater  (just like the Little Mermaid!). The idea behind the installation seems slightly heavy-handed to me, but the result was absolutely gorgeous.

This project is actually a few years old, but I’d never seen it so I thought I’d share. I highly doubt the pool is still there, but I wish it were because I’m going to need to go for a swim after being trapped like a hothouse tomato in this broiling coffee shop. YAY!

Love,
Orlando

PS: You can read an article with actual facts about the aforementioned swimming pool here.

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of The Week!

“Have you seen the Bieber documentary yet?” – Joan Didion*

*Joan Didion never said this. Ever.

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Shhhh! ‘Secrets’ is Airing Soon!

Dear Emily,

My new favorite thing is shushing people. Mainly because I think it’s so rude that it becomes ridiculous and thus hilarious. Like who thinks it’s ever appropriate to shush another person? Weirdos. Anyway, I’ll be doing some legitimate shushing on February 26th at 9 PM when “Secrets From A Stylist” airs on HGTV. It’s weird to work on a TV show like this because it’s so intense, involved, and client-based that sometimes it’s easy to forget we are actually making a television show that people will watch (please?). I’m sure you’re all imagining that Emily shows up and plays around with pillows and then goes and gets mani-pedis. So not true. The woman works ALL the time. I know this because, ahem, so do I (it’s my philosophy that a good assistant works more than his boss, but Emily is hard to keep up with). The reason we work so well together is that we’re both obsessed with what we do and we both totally love it. Which means we hope you will love it too. I’m super proud of the makeovers Emily has designed for our clients. She’s got an incredibly fresh and inspiring wit about her and it comes through in her design work. It’s fun to work with someone you admire so much. Mainly because it means the show is going to be super popular and everyone is going to love Emily, and via Reaganomic trickledown, me! Rad.

Love,

Orlando

PS: Remember… February 26 – 9 PM. HGTV. Angelenos stay tuned for premier party info…

SFAS 9 PM February 26

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