Trick? Or? Treat?: Robyn

Dear Robyn, I went to your concert last weekend and it was totally fun. That being said I had little choice in whether or not I went to the concert. Gays are obligated by Gay Law to attend Robyn concerts, even if they don’t want to (which, to be honest, I kind of didn’t). I have gone to all of your (seemingly monthly) LA concerts for the past few years and I have never paid for one or planned ahead. For some reason there are ALWAYS extra Robyn tickets at the last minute that people are just dying to give…

I’m A Giant: Update!

Dear Dollhousers, Something totally awesome happened this week. Emily and I were just hanging out, going about our business of designing houses for dolls and houses for people, when we got a package from Janet Blair (reader, designer, dollhouser) in North Carolina filled with awesome dollhouse furniture. In the box was this awesome rug. I think I am going to dye it somehow or color it in. I think it’s pretty as it but I like the idea of making it more colorful. This little dresser (for the kids’ room) is adorable. I think I am going to lacquer it…

Why Halloween Is Annoying

Dear Halloween, Let me preface this by saying that I love you and that you have given me some of the best memories of my whole entire life. I grew up in a neighborhood where it wasn’t weird to trick-or-treat until you were 18 years old (which I did) and I always had the best time ever. But Halloween, you get more high maintenance every year. Mainly, it’s the costume thing. There’s so much pressure to think of something topical and clever. But not too clever, otherwise no one will get it and you’ll feel like a pretentious jerk. Last…

Orlando’s Obsession: O Mirrors!

Dear Mirrors, I like it when you are circular in shape. I think it’s because I have so much rectangular art in my apartment. I’ve just been dying for some curves. Also, my name starts with “O” and I like things that look like “O”s. Here are some adorable examples of “O” mirrors I found. O God: the mirror. Double O God: the chairs! I think you can get away with a simple circular mirror like this it’s right next to a complicated art wall. Sometimes I feel like I’m a complicated art wall. I’m not a huge fan of…

I’m A Giant Update

Dear Dolls Waiting To Move Into My Dollhouse, Due to reasons beyond my control, there has been a slight delay in the construction of your home. Emily and I have been swamped with full-sized human clients and it turns out your house has been swept to the back burner until we get our human interior design projects further along. Don’t be sad, Dolls, I did see this wonderful fixer-upper at Rose Bowl over the weekend (for $68!). If you like, you can rent it while you wait for your glamour barn to be built. I know it’s not your style,…

Cover Me In Music

Dear Maxence Cyrin, This morning I woke up with grandiose plans of cleaning my whole apartment, making three pieces of artwork, finishing that boring New Yorker article about Keynesian economics (I’m sorry, sometimes economics makes my eyes glaze over), and going to the gym for 7 hours. But then I came across your cover of Where Is My Mind by the Pixies and I couldn’t stop listening to your songs. So now here I am, stuck inside on this gorgeous, clear Autumn day in Los Angeles. Listening to the most beautiful music in the world. It’s the perfect combination of high-brow,…

Are You Vegan? Or Racist?

Dear Human, Do you ever wish there was a better way to describe things as “awesome” or “lame”? Well, I’ve thought of a new system. Actually my brother thought of it like tens years ago and now I’m sharing it with you. Basically, anything good and righteous should be referred to as “vegan.” Anything lame and vile is “racist.” These are good descriptives because what could be worse than a racist? Or more righteous and awesome than a vegan? I may eat whole animals and blocks of cheese, but I still consider myself a vegan. In spirit at least. I…