Oh My God Look At These Stupid Drawings

Dear Artists, This weekend I decided to take Saturday off to make a drawing. All my friends fled to the beach to luxuriate in the golden California weather while I sat inside doing laundry and thinking of what to draw. Which was fine by me because that’s actually my favorite thing in the world to do. I had a little bit of artist’s block, so I decided to go through some of my old sketchbooks to get ideas. And when I looked through those sketchbooks I came to a shocking conclusion. I am an actual crazy person. Below is the…

What Your Car Said About You Behind Your Back

Dear Diary, The other day I was sitting at home with my boyfriend (I have one. Weird right? …He’ll dump me when he finds out about my massive codependency issues). The thing about him is that he LOVES cars. He actually needs to buy a new one and has been researching what to buy. I keep scoffing at every car he shows me which got me to wondering what car I would buy if money were no object. The branding of automobiles has so much to do with aspiration and performance. We’re making a statement about who we are by what…

That One Time Coachella Almost Killed Me

Dear Everyone Who Went to Coachella Weekend 1, Why didn’t you warn me??? Of course you told me that it was going to be loads of fun, the most exciting experience of my life. What you didn’t tell me was that it would, like, actually kill me. It was a ton of fun and I’m happy I went. But honestly, it was the most exhausting experience of my life. It’s been two days and I still feel like an actual corpse. The weekend started off in a serene, peaceful manner. We went to the ticket tent to grab our shuttle…

Things In Palm Springs

Dear Gays, Remember that one weekend you all decided to go to Palm Springs at the same time? Yes, I do too. It was last weekend. Apparently there is some sort of antiquated gay party out there (“White Party”?) where everyone dresses in white gogo pants and dances on bleachers whilst being sprayed with toxic foam. Or at least I think that’s what happens. Anyway, I went out to the desert because I wanted a nice break from my crazy life (which has been cuckoo puffs lately, hence the  sparse posting on here). Some of my friends rented a house that…

Whut Glamour – Carlo Van de Roer

Dear Carlo Van de Roer, Firstly, I love your name. I’m hoping your last name is pronounced RAWR, like a lion roaring. Second, I was browsing 20×200, one of my favorite affordable art sites, when I came across some of your glamorous prints. They basically have everything I need: water, the color aqua, people in bikinis, and dots. There’s really nothing else in the world I care about. Some of your prints are available on 20×200 for as little as $60, which is a total barg if you ask me. Check out Carlo’s 20×200 Store and buy something. I’m going…

Hey House, I Want You!

Dear Diary, I was browsing Sonoma County real estate the other day, as I often do, when I came across my dream home. It’s crazy, it’s asymmetrical, it’s made of redwood, it’s in the middle of the forest. It’s everything I want. It’s located in Healdsburg, California, which is an adorable town in wine country. And the price is right ($292,000 vs. neighboring properties for 6 million). It’s on 3.2 acres, has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and is on a road that my sister-in-law refers to as “the most beautiful road in Sonoma County.” Oh, and it’s a total piece…