Monthly Archives: July 2012

Brace Yourself for Beautiful Bracelets

Dear Men of the World,

Don’t you get sad sometimes that ladies get to wear all sorts of exciting jewelry and all we get to wear is watches and the occasional bow tie? Jewelry is fun, but there’s not a ton of it for dudes. One thing we can get away with is bracelets. Look how cool this guy looks, in part because he’s wearing those glamorous bracelets:

Now, onto some bracelets I love, hate, and am ambivalent towards:

Miansai, $95 at Mr. Porter

Black and gold, the most luxurious combination in the history of time.

Tods, $225 from Barney’s Co-Op

Everyone knows I’m not afraid of bright colors, so naturally I love this buttery bracelet from Tods.

City Landscape, $14 from TopMan

London may have done a terrible job orchestrating the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, but the city did inspire a pretty skyline for this bangle.

Luis Morais, $675 from Mr. Porter

This looks like a Kabbalah bracelet. Which means that if you are a trendy celebrity like Madonna or Ashton Kutcher you should definitely wear one.

Tateossian, $250 from Saks

I’d like to wear this braided bracelet on a boat whilst someone named Tad serves me a cocktail.

Miansai, $65 from Mr. Porter

Hi, pretty blue bracelet. I actually have one that’s just like this except it cost like $5, not $65.

Awkward, $8 from TopMan

It was nice of TopMan to make the bracelet with my name on it.

Miansai, $90 from Mr. Porter

I’ve decided these hook things are the new anchors (side note: anchors are out). I love this gold one with that rope band. It’s totally ready for an adventure on the high seas.

Leather Wrap Bracelet, $245 from Misa Jewelry

This black/gold combo is the perfect amount of casual (raw edge leather) and chic (gold).

Tods, $225 from Saks

Another preppy bracelet to wear on the boat with Tad. Lovely.

Monique Péan Homme, $13,930 from Barney’s Co-Op

This bracelet is to die for. Also, it’s almost $14,000. You could buy a car for that much money. But honestly, I’d take this bracelet over a car any day.

Vanities, $40 from Opening Ceremony

I’m torn about this bracelet. On the one hand, I love that adorable string. On the other, I am tired of skulls. But I guess if you just ignore the skull it’s cool. And isn’t that what life is all about? Ignoring things you don’t like?

Cast of Vices, $190 from American Rag

This is another one I’m on the fence about. Part of me thinks it’s really cool and clever. Another part of me thinks it’s gimmicky and lame. What do you think?

So there it is. A collection of bracelets I want and some I don’t want.

The End,
Orlando

6 Comments

Filed under Decor

RIP: Rest In Paintings

Dear My Bed,

I love you,  but you need a headboard. Right now, you look like this:

So depressing I may as well be in prison. Okay, so my bed has striped sheets, pillows, and a blanket on it. But it’s still missing something. It’s in desperate need of a headboard. And what better for a headboard than a giant piece of art? I love the idea of sleeping with a huge piece of art looming over my head. I mean, who wouldn’t want an enormous egg floating above the bed?

This one is pretty and minimal, the white laundry speaks to the stark white of the room.

This isn’t necessarily my style but I think it’s very pretty. And the addition of tall, built-in bookshelves makes the space even more inviting.

Not sure if I love this framed photo, but look how well the color goes with the knit blanket.

This graphic piece is awesome. Also, if this person lives in an earthquake zone they are probably going to be cut in half during the next earthquake. Hanging glass over the bed can be dangerous. I have a rule about hanging art over my bed: If the piece can fall off the wall and accidentally chop my head off, I try not to hang it directly over where I’m sleeping. That is the Californian way.

That being said, I might risk having my head chopped off to have this delightful piece hanging above me as I slumber.

Ugh, Marilyn Minter. Why does your stupid art have to cost so many millions? I want all of it.

This is a great idea for a DIY painting-headboard. It’s not as fancy as having a Minter hanging above your bed, but on the upside it’s just canvas so it won’t decapitate you in the event of an earthquake.

This is painted directly onto the wall, totally great idea for a child’s room. Or for someone too, like, poverty-stricken to afford an actual headboard. Like me.

Look at these awesome drawings-as-headboards. Accented by decorative moulding! Get in my bed!

This big, bold, graphic piece is the perfect addition to this totally, like, minimal and boring room.

And finally, my favorite. I think I’m going to go for this vibe with my headboard. I love the simplified landscape and that gorgeous color palette. How could you not have sweet dreams under that?

In conclusion, I want all of these headboards.

Love,
Orlando

14 Comments

Filed under Art

Shopping, Staring, and Sweating in San Francisco

Dear Diary,

My baby niece is the world’s cutest baby. It’s been scientifically proven and I have many pictures as evidence if you don’t believe me. I went up north for her first birthday about a month ago and enjoyed a weekend of family, fun, and adventures in the Bay Area. I grew up calling San Francisco “the city,” we went there all the time. So whenever I go back it feels a little like going home. It feels so comfortable and familiar there. My brother, his wife, and the my adorable niece live in Sonoma County (about an hour north of the city). I spent a few days up in Wine Country with them before heading back down to San Francisco for shopping, staring, and sweating my way all over town (Sidenote: it was actually warm there. Which never happens during the summer months in San Francisco).

I stumbled upon a store called Monument in the Mission, which turned out the be the most beautiful store in the whole world. Tons of vintage pieces, all restored to perfection.

Monument has a store on 1stdibs if you’d like to see their amazing inventory.

Harrington Galleries also had some cool stuff. Like the glamourous chair below.

This wonderful tansu was at Therapy.

Tradesmen had a ridiculously cool Japanese fish windsock. Unfortunately, that store is never open and everything in there costs $500,000. Sad.

FSC Barber Shop had beautiful “Apothecary” typography in the window.

Did I find anything at this store? NO. Did I like their sign? Yes.

Voyager was a lovely store filled with fancy travel items, notebooks, and clothing. While we were in there, some dot com dude was trying on $500 hippie pants asking the sales associate if they made his butt look big. It was amazing.

I met up with some of my friends at Daytime Realness, which is a super fun party filled with drag queens, hipsters, and haircuts just ugly enough to be cool. It was ridiculously fun and I would go back over and over again if I lived in San Francisco.

How amazing is this disgusting sweater? I’m serious. I want it.

No trip to San Francisco is complete without a ride on BART. Especially if you get lost like I did. Luckily I ended up in the scariest part of Oakland, which was fun.

After all the shopping, playing, and loving, my sister took me for a walk at one of the most picturesque hills I’ve ever seen in my life, Bernal Heights Summit.

The trip to the city warmed my heart and was filled with LOLs, ROFLs, and even a few BRBs. Fun!

Love,
Orlando

4 Comments

Filed under Life, Style

Instagramz #102

 

Find me on Instagram: oar_lawn_doe

1 Comment

Filed under Art, Life

Instagramz #100

 

Find me on Instagram: oar_lawn_doe

Leave a comment

Filed under Art, Life

Tourlando: My-So Called Neighborhood

Dear Hollywood Hills West,

You’re a weird place. Kind of Hollywood. Kind of West Hollywood. Kind of Los Angeles. I moved into this part of town because I wanted to find a place as green as West Hollywood, but without all that appletini-scented-gay-gutter-bar-trash you find in the heart of WeHo (sorry, you know it’s true). Thus, I moved a neighborhood I thought was Hollywood. Only to find out months later that it was really called Hollywood Hills West. What attracted me to this place is that everything is so sprawling and mid-century. We have tons of eco-unfriendly lawns, palm trees up the ying-yang, and lots of pretty tropical vegetation that would probably be more at home in the Amazon than Los Angeles.

I knew I loved this neighborhood when I spotted my building for the first time, glowing a mint green color that warms my heart, calling to me like a siren.

This is the building I see out my window every morning as I wake up, wide-eyed and ready to take the world by storm (as soon as I drink 17 cups of coffee and whine for an hour about being tired).

I hate this color of brick, but that doesn’t stop me from loving this font. You can really do a lot by just adding pretty numbers to your building (stay tuned for more exciting examples!).

According to evidence I have collected, the owners of Breezy Freeze Snowball Company live near me. Jealous? (Sidenote: I’ve never had a Breezy Freeze Snowball but I can tell you based on the color of their van that it’s delicious).

In my neighborhood, quirky fonts  are the norm. Boring fonts, GO HOME!

This building is one of my favorites because it’s so geometric, intimidating, and stark. Kind of like a Stanley Kubrick movie.

Look how scary and intimidating the entry is. I want to live in there.

Again, not a fan of the bricks but you can’t deny those clean lines. If this were my building I’d probably paint those bricks white or just put concrete over them. That’s terrible but I hate bricks like that. I know, I get it, totally ruins the historical accuracy of it but it could be SO much  prettier if the surface was as simple and elegant as the architecture itself.

I love any building covered in plants. Unless the plant is poison ivy.

I moved to Los Angeles because I wanted to live in a city where I could see trees. I get depressed if I don’t see trees. Also, it’s nice to have flowering trees scenting the air, distracting you from the fact that you are breathing in more pollution than anyone in the rest of the United States of America.

I love these guard lions on the house up the street. It’s kind of ridiculous because the house is so cute and non-intimidating, but that’s part of the joke.

I also love how cute little houses like this that would cost $150,000 in a normal place are worth like 6 million dollars in LA. Okay that’s probably an exaggeration, but you get my point. Someday, when I’m 57 years old, I hope to save up enough money to buy a dumpster to convert into an efficient and charming home for me and my 16 cats to live in.

You know you’ve made it when there is so much vegetation in front of your door that you can barely see it.

This is the house. I want it. It’s squared-off Spanish shape makes me happy, scared, and a little turned on.

These geniuses painted their house an awesome color of yellow, shielded it with plants, and then parked their totally Gay Jeep in front of it. Triple win!

This color of grey totally heightens this otherwise unremarkable home. God that was so rude. If whoever owns this unremarkable home is reading this, I apologize. Also, can I have your house? It was just called unremarkable on a very important blog so you should probably move.

One of the most exciting attractions in my neighborhood is this ridiculously huge hedge. I think they put it up to protect residents from the rowdy people in line at the Laugh Factory (across the street). Added benefit: we are all protected from the ugly building behind the hedge (it’s supes gross).

Every time I pass the hedge, I think of a book I read a lot when I was a child, The Garden of Abdul Gasazi by Chris Van Allsburg. It’s filled with beautiful illustrations.

See! More zany typography. It makes the building so much hipper than it would be otherwise.

Giant tropical plant, HAY!

This building is disgusting and falling apart. But check out that aqua! Yum!

I think this building might be ugly. But I love the simplicity of the lines. So maybe it’s beautiful? Help me.

That pretty tree looks like it jumped out of a Japanese painting. Glamourtree.

This building has been my one true love for a while. It’s yet another example of how a good font can really change a whole building. Sure, the lines are classic and the beautiful stone slabs look expensive. But really it’s the lovely font, those strong 5‘s and that satisfying 0. If you look at this building from the side it’s just another apartment building with weird balconies and stucco siding. But the front makes it look like the most luxurious apartment building on the planet.

So there you have it. That’s my hood. I love it here and I’m never moving. Until I save up all that money to buy that dumpster I want.

Love,
Orlando

7 Comments

Filed under Decor, Life, Style

Instagramz #96

1 Comment

Filed under Art, Life