Dear New MacBook Pro,
You are so expensive and fragile. As someone who is also expensive and fragile, I know the feeling. We need special protection. We like to be wrapped in beautiful things that shelter us from the harsh world around us. This is why I am seeking the best laptop case in the world. I want something that is both stylish and allows me to throw my computer across the room without breaking it. Thus far, I have no case and have been clutching my computer to my chest as I navigate the cruel homosexual world that I live in (imagine me, all alone, clasping my computer as I wait in line at Tender Greens amongst ferocious Gays clamoring violently for their delectable salads. Fear.). Below are some cases I’m looking at.
Felt Briefcase MacBook Sleeve from Etsy, $34
This one reminds me of a warm wool sweater on a cold college day. And let’s face it, what day in college wasn’t cold?
Hardback Leather Case from BookBook, $79
I’ve loved this one for a while. I know it’s kind of gimmicky but I love books so much and miss carrying them around. actually, let’s be real. I miss reading them, too. Now all I do is look at them quizzically and wonder why they don’t scroll when I run my finger down the page. Why aren’t any of the words clickable? I’m so scared and confused.
Protective Sleeve from InCase, $49.95
This one is really basic/boring, but that little pop of baby blue makes me happy. It doesn’t take much to make me happy.
Vinyl Laptop Bag from American Apparel, $34
I like this one because it goes along with my whole Japanese Rapper persona. What, you say? You didn’t know about my Japanese Rapper persona? You have, like, so much to learn.
Trompe L’Oeil Laptop Case from Urban Outfitters, $29
I like this one because it reminds me of being in art school. Which reminds me of being sullen and aloof. Which reminds me of how cool I used to be. Which fills me with anxiety for being such a dork now.
Grey Wool and Brown Leather MacBook Sleeve from Etsy, $79
The combination of the wool and the leather straps is doing a delightful 1940s American Schoolhouse thing for me. It works.
Tan Leather Laptop Bag from Topman, $95
Doesn’t this leather look soft and inviting? Like you want to rub it all over your supple cheeks? Even though it’s made out of the skin of a dead sentient being, bred solely for the purpose of being eaten and/or skinned? I still want it. I hate myself.
Wooden Laptop Case with Leather Lining from Rainer Spehl, $200
This is the heavy-duty case I’m looking for. While all the other ones are soft and pillowy (like my belly after the holidays), this one is hard and strong (like my boyfriend’s irritatingly perfect abs). I can imagine dropping this off a building, my computer emerging without a scratch.
Pendleton Laptop Case from Etsy, $55
Grab Laptop Folio from Hard Graft, $235
How cool is that hand strap? If I had this one I’d take it everywhere with me, just to feel cool for having such a beautiful laptop case. Also, if I had this I’d be homeless because, damn Gina! That’s expensive. But necessary? I don’t know what to do!
Which one do you think I should buy?