Around The Apartment – What’s Happening in the Hallway

Dear Diary,

One of my favorite aspects of my apartment is that it has a glamourous hallway dressing area where I can spin around every morning whilst looking in the mirror, fearing all the day has in store for me. This area is where I keep the majority of my clothing. It also has a random built-in dresser. My apartment building was built in the 1950s and for some reason has a ridiculous amount of storage space. Which is good for me because I hate throwing things away. For example, I own this hideous Garfield shirt:

I know. I know. It’s disgusting. But I love it. I don’t know why it just makes me happy. The only thing cooler would be a Cathy shirt ACK!) or maybe one of those Big Dog shirts from the 90s (Remember those? They were so cool). My point is that I need a lot of storage space because I have loads and loads of ugly clothes. And so I’m thankful for all the storage space my apartment has to offer. I also love that the built-in dresser in my hallway makes for a beautiful vignette.

This photo is actually just an oversized postcard I bought at the Whitney Biennial four years ago. It was documentation of a dance performance/installation by Fritz Haeg that took place in the museum. Also, it is a constant reminder to stretch every morning.

The mirror is from the Rose Bowl Flea Market. $100. It’s a gorgeous, heavy old piece. I bought the deer hook at Urban Outfitters for $28. I use it to hang all my ugly bracelets, ugly necklaces, and ugly rings. I keep some of my bow ties on a vintage wood tray and all my sunglasses on a raku tray I made years ago at Pretentious Summer Camp. Because all gays love Warhol, I have his delightful Red Books Polaroid collection on display (you can get your own for $60 on Powells, I highly recommend it).

The only thing I’m not loving right now is the wall color. It’s a little too beige for my taste. I hate beige a lot. Almost as much as I hate those totally annoying and gross Svedka sex robot vodka ads (How do they exist? They are so unbelievably, outrageously creepy and disgusting!). So, yeah, I hate the wall color and I’m playing with the idea of painting the hallway a pretty grey.

But then I’m all “Oh, Self, why must you paint everything grey all the time?” I recently bought grey sheets for my bed. And then I made the bed whilst wearing grey sweatpants, a grey shirt, grey socks, and grey underwear. Grey is so easy and so calming. But life shouldn’t always be easy and calming. Sometimes it should be bright, crazy, and ridiculous (like my ugly hair in high school). Which is why I was so excited to find this Flamingo Wallpaper from Cole and Son:

I never met a flamingo print I didn’t like. And this one is so good.

I might also just paint the hallway a dark, sexy color. It doesn’t get a whole of light so that could help give the space a moody, glamourous look.

I’m still not sure what color I’m going to paint the walls. The one thing I am certain of is that I will continue to wear my ugly clothes and thus will continue to need storage space for them. If I’m going to run around dressed like a 90s cartoon character, at least my dressing space can look chic.

Love,
Orlando

13 Comments

Filed under Decor

13 responses to “Around The Apartment – What’s Happening in the Hallway

  1. jon

    whoa- that flamingo print! WIN!!

  2. I love your blog posts, they always make me laugh. Love the flamingo print, but grey is my favorite color, and I always want everything to be grey, like you. A dark color would be quite glamorous though; good luck!

    PS. The Garfield shirt is awesome.

  3. Leah

    i wish i had an area where i could twirl around in my ugly clothes! flamingos are a winner. i love the vase with the brushes.

  4. lina

    Those Svedka ads are truly terrifying. I feel like they are targeting real doll owners.

  5. The gray adds a lot of snap–love it!
    I’m wild for the old timey flamingo print, but seems a bit girlish for this space.

    My dear husband has a whole cabinet devoted to tee shirts funny and otherwise, a drawerful dedicated to the Chicago Bulls. Rock on!

  6. Laurielulu

    I knew you were going to pick grey………. Never would have guessed the flamingos but I adore them. I very jealous of the software that allows you to try this stuff before you actually do it.

    I love the way the white trim pops on the grey but the flamingos are so soft…….

  7. Laurielulu

    I forgot to snicker about the bow ties…..

  8. dark and moody, DARK AND MOODY! i think it would look great a dark navy, deep dark green or even a charcoal… the white dresser will pop and you can get cool lamps / light fixtures to make it even moodier. you can decorate it in pretentious summer camp prep style! then twirl around in your bow ties and a blazer with a crest to gangnam style!!!
    … ok maybe not, but i still vote for dark walls/wallpaper!

  9. katehunka

    dark and moody, DARK AND MOODY! i think it would look great a dark navy, deep dark green or even a charcoal… the white dresser will pop and you can get cool lamps / light fixtures to make it even moodier. you can decorate it in pretentious summer camp prep style! then twirl around in your bow ties and a blazer with a crest to gangnam style!!!
    … ok maybe not, but i still vote for dark walls/wallpaper!

  10. The whole interior of my 1910′s bungalow is painted a moody gray color. It makes a great backdrop for artwork, clever lighting and drunken skits performed at 330am. My husband also owns many, many, many graphic T’s. We’ve had a few discussions about when it is appropriate to or not to wear them.

  11. Ahhh, I liked your ugly hair in high school. Almost as much as I like those flamingos.

  12. No Vacation Required

    I think it may still be too soon for Big Dog shirts…

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