I have a pile of vintage crates in my room where I store my sweaters and jeans. It looks kind of like this except not at all because my pile of crates is totally ugly and lame and this one is, like, totally cool:
Anyway, this morning I awoke and stared at my stupid pile of crates. And then I turned to those crates and said “Hey, Crates. You suck and you’re ugly.” To which The Crates responded “Hey, you’re ugly too! If you hate us so much then why don’t you grow up and buy a dresser like a real man!” And I was like “FINE! Maybe I will. And then you’ll be sorry. When you’re in the TRASH. You stupid Crates.” Like Victoria Beckham is in need of a sandwich, I am in desperate need of a dresser. But what to buy? With all the frilly antiques out there, it’s not always easy to find a dresser fit for a dude. I’ve been searching the flea markets to no avail, but I did find some nice ones on the good ol’ internetz. Wanna see what I found? Keep reading! Except you, Crates. You can go straight to hell.
Modcrib LA Mid Century High Boy, $400
This one might be my favorite. I love that it’s a square (like me!) and that it has little brass shoes on.
Organic Modernism Siena Dresser, $1145
This one is very simple and wide. Like your mom.
West Elm Boerum Dresser, $699
This one is nearly as handsome, masculine, and woodsy as I am. However, I’d add some hardware to it. Perhaps some brass knobs or something to give it a little spice.
Ikea Sveio, $249
I’d also want to add knobs to this one, but it’s a great design for such a good price. I’ve caressed it many-a-time in Ikea, but never bought it home with me because I’m holding out for something vintage.
Room & Board Grove Dresser, $2499
A friend of mine bought this for her Upper West Side apartment and I thought it was classic without feeling retro. And the wood is a very pretty color that’s not too orange, not too blue.
Empiric Mid-Century Dresser, $2525
The white on this piece gives a little update to an otherwise classic piece.
Cisco Home Genet Dresser, Price Upon Request
This one is a little ladylike, but sometimes it’s good to have some feminine to balance the masculine in a bedroom. And by “sometimes” I mean “always.”
Blueprint Logan Double Dresser, $999
Great for a modern space. Also super pretty wood color. Gimme.
ABC Home Fresco Double Dresser, $995
A lot of the time people think white is just for girls. But I disagree. I like this for a man’s bedroom because of its strong shape and great scale.
Dwell Studio Pierre Dresser, $3750
This is by far the kookiest dresser, but that makes me want it the most.
Empiric 2243 Dresser, $2585
And finally, how could you say no to that hardware? If this were mind I’d be opening and closing my drawers all day, just so that I could touch that brass glamour.
While many people will be making New Years Resolutions about reconnecting with their families and losing the 85 lbs they gained during the holidays (or was that just me?), I plan on making a more important and meaningful resolution. I will be resolving to finally get another dresser. I will rid my room of those cursed Crates. If it’s the last thing I do.