How I Learned to Stop Hating The Grove

Dear Reader, In cities all over the world, there are shopping districts where urban dwellers flock to meet up with their friends, stare at beautiful things, and perhaps even buy something they want (or, GASP!, need). Paris has Les Champs-Élysées. Tokyo has the Ginza. And here in Los Angeles, we have The Grove. But what exactly is The Grove? Is it a shopping mall where we find the newest treasure? Is it a community space where you take your children to play? Is it a terrifying dystopia where every childhood fear I had about the future comes true, in vivid…

I Want To Crawl Inside This Music Video

Dear St. Vincent, I’m in love with your music video for “Cheerleader” directed by Hiro Murai. According to Yatzer, the video was inspired by the art of Ron Mueck, an artist who makes enormous sculptures of humans in awkward positions. Annie Clark (AKA St. Vincent) looks beautiful. Like a giant porcelain doll. The whole thing is amazing. Enjoy! Love, Orlando

Deliver Me To Hedi Land

Dear Hedi Slimane, You are my favorite photographer. Everyone knows that. You have a wonderful fashion diary I look at all the time. It brings me great joy. But lately every time I look at one of your photographs they make me want to be an active participant in the awesome world you document because everyone looks so cool and aloof and glamorous. Below is a list of things your photos make me want to do: 1. Sit on the ground and contemplate my feelings. 2. Play a guitar on a diving board whist wearing skinny jeans. 3. Stand with a…

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Where’s My Wallet?

Dear Diary, I lost my wallet last weekend, which was totally annoying and devastating. Not really, but it did get me thinking about wallets. Because as much as I miss my California drivers license and the five different business/personal credit cards, I also miss my Salvatore Ferragamo wallet, a gift I got from a friend a few years ago. They don’t make the particular credit card sleeve I had anymore, so it’s time to move on. Wallets, like watches, eyewear, phones and other items you use every day are the one place I feel comfortable splurging. I believe that if…

Glamourtimez: The Vanity Fair & Baxter of California Party

Dear Baxter of California, I attended the Vanity Fair/Baxter of California Oscar party last night and had a great time acting like the weirdo from American Beauty who goes around taking video of everything. Do you ever go to a party where you don’t know anyone, thinking to yourself that it’s a great way to meet new people? And then you get there and you’re the only one alone and it makes you realize you should have brought someone? So then you just awkwardly wander around taking pictures whilst eating (delicious) mini-hamburgers? Yeah, that’s pretty much what I did. I’ve…

The Do’s And Don’ts Of The Gay Gym

Dear Gym Lovers, Did you know there is such thing as a “Gay Gym”? I did. A Gay Gym is like a regular gym except everyone is more attractive, there is a disproportionately male clientele, and there is 57% more body dysmorphia than at your traditional Straight Gym. Gay Gyms are normally located in homosexual neighborhoods in major cities. Two great examples include David Barton Gym in Chelsea in New York and Equinox on Sunset in Los Angeles. These gyms aren’t officially Gay, but the majority of the members are (some just don’t know it yet because I haven’t told…

Instagramtimez

Dear You, You should follow me on Instagram. It will be totally fun for the whole family. Here is what I have been looking at: This delightful Japanese panel, which now hangs in the bathroom. This amazing vase I saw on a home tour. This smarmy couples-themed cover article in LA Weekly. These überglamourous espresso cups from Rose Bowl Flea Market. Now if only I had an espresso machine… This gorgeous artichoke at Clementine Floral Works at Sunset Junction. This lovely bakery in kindagloomy Salt Lake City. The Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City, where I attended a conference…

Whut Glamour: Art by Andrew Salgado

Dear Andrew Salgado, A few months ago, I was waddling around a holiday party hosted by Ken Dolls when I stumbled upon one of your brilliant paintings (“It’s Not About Love”) in their living room. I spent the rest of the party scheming how I would fit the painting under my winter coat so I could take it home. Sadly, I left without it. But I was happy to discover your work because I find it completely inspiring. When I see something done in a new way, such as a figure rendered in a way never before seen, it reminds me…

15 Vintage Gay Couples You Need to See

Dear Gays, With Valentines Day upon us, many of us have couple-hatred on the mind. However, there is one type of couple it’s impossible to hate. Vintage Gay couples. Not only is their style totally unique and exciting, the fact that they were forced to love each other in secret makes these photographs all the more titillating. Sure, there’s no proof that any of these guys are actually couples, but what is the point of looking back on history if you can’t mold it to fit your modern-day agenda? Thus, for the purpose of this post I will be assuming…