In Honor of Jeffery Self: Empowering Breakup Songs

Dear The People Of The Internet,

Have you been following Jeffery Self? I have. He looks like this:

WEB jeffrey self

You can check him out on his hilarious YouTube channel and read see his posts on Tumblr. I fell in love with Jeffery and his co-comedian Cole years ago when I saw their ridiculously awesome Recession Video. A few years after he made that video, Jeffery started dating an adorable guy and they had the cutest relationship ever, which was documented heavily on social media. It looked like this:

patrick-mcdonald-jeffrey-self

I met Jeffery and his boyfriend Patrick at a pool party last year and they were adorable and sweet and friendly. But then their cute relationship ended. I was sad, because I loved them as a couple. Jeffery was sad because he lost his soul mate. As an older, wiser Gay, I told him to document his story in writing, to get it out of his head. And he has done so beautifully on his Tumblr.

What does all this have to do with you, you ask? Well the one good thing about going through a break up is that it’s an excuse to listen to power ballads sung by beautiful women without feeling guilty or self-conscious about it. Thus, I have compiled a list of songs for Jeffery (and Patrick) to listen to whilst lamenting and missing each other. And YOU can listen to these songs at work and think about poisoning your boss and stealing his job. Everyone wins!

So, wherever you are, listen to these songs RIGHT NOW. You will feel happy. You will feel sad. But mostly you’ll feel, like, totally empowered.

1. Katy Perry Part of Me [RAC Remix]

2. Hannah Georges Someone

3. Viola Wills Gonna Get Along Without You Now

4. She & Him Never Wanted Your Love

5. Tina Turner You Better Be Good to Me

6. Tegan & Sara Alligator Tears [Passion Pit Remix]

7. Björk Play Dead

8. CSS City Grrl [TEPR Remix]

9. Taylor Swift We Are Never Getting Back Together

10. Katy Perry Roar

So there you go. Every song you need to feel empowered. What’s your favorite breakup tune?

Love,
Orlando

PS: In addition to all those empowering ladysongs, also try Handle Me With Care by The Traveling Wilburys

13 Comments

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13 Responses to In Honor of Jeffery Self: Empowering Breakup Songs

  1. “Wild one” by flo-rida……we did shut down the club a lot.

  2. One of my faves: Bounce by Calvin Harris (and Kelis). It’s not your traditional break-up song, but it touches on that sweet moment when you start to realize that life is still good — if not better — without your former love. It’s less “You were the best thing to happen to me,” and more “Hell yeah! Who wants a piece of this?!” Mucho empowering.

  3. Ross Avila

    “So What” by Pink!

  4. Ryan Stanford

    “You’ll See” by Madonna…it makes me almost want to break up with someone so I can listen to it on a loop and sing at the top of my lungs with a bottle of wine.

  5. Peter

    Can’t beat this by a great performer:
    http://youtu.be/HMZJNO7S4Os

  6. “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera
    “Once” by Diana Vickers
    “I’ll Kill Her” by Soko

  7. French Greg

    I have a good one for future break-ups:
    “Young And Beautiful” by Landa Del Rey

  8. Chad

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXTL6JecNU8

    Thought I would share this little gem. Great Song!

  9. Lori

    “Never Again,” Kelly Clarkson (and really, just a good chunk of her “My December” album)
    “Untouchable Face,” Ani DiFranco (plus a billion others because, you know, Ani)

  10. sava

    Second Lori. Definitely “Untouchable Face.”

  11. I had a major breakup this summer….and “Move in the Right Direction” by The Gossip was my theme.

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