Category Archives: Around The Apartment

by Orblogdo | 24 April 2013 · 5:28 pm

Around The Apartment: Everything Must Go!

Dear Diary,

Have you wondered where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to? Me too. Most of my time has gone to decorating houses with Emily Henderson, pulling my hair out over taxes, and daydreaming about my boyfriend running on the beach in a Speedo. We have a big West Elm photo/video shoot coming up in our apartment, so things are changing daily here. As you may remember my apartment was shot for Refinery29 a few months ago. Here are a few of those shots:

Spring is a time for refreshing change, so I bought a few new books for the coffee table, including the glamorous Luc Tuymans book below. I also bought a book of Fabian Baron photographs called Liquid Light and it may be my favorite thing in the world. I love his images.

I sold my lady chairs. Here is what they looked like in case you forgot:

As soon as I sold the ladychairs I regretted it. They were so comfy and they provided the perfect counterbalance to my hypermasculine apartment. (Sigh, if only if I were as straight-acting as my apartment. [Just kidding I don't want to be straight-acting {Yes I do}]). My boyfriend recently found this beauty on Craigslist, which we bought for $500:

It’s Milo Baughman. Totally glamorous. Only drawback is that barf-inducing color. The worst thing about the color is that my boyfriend likes it. He loves browns, reds, and earthtones. Which is funny because those are my three least favorite things in the world. I hate them more than I hate child hunger. Ew I just said that. (No I didn’t). The typical conversation about how to reupholster the Milo chair goes something like this:

Me: “Blue.”
Boyfriend: “Brown.”
Me: “Grey.”
Boyfriend: “Brown.”
Me: “White.”
Boyfriend: “Brown.”
Me: “Gold.”
Boyfriend: “Dark Brown.”

That lasts for three hours until we get tired and watch Terminator 2: Judgement Day on Netflix.

A few months ago, long before we purchased the Milo chair (which still needs a partner by the way, I want a pair), I saw this guy at the flea market for $400/pair:

I showed him to my boyfriend and Emily, and both of them told me I was crazy for liking them. Cut to a month later when I saw them at Nickey Kehoe for $2650. Which obviously made me want them more. I hate everything and I’m never listening to anyone about anything ever again. Let this be a lesson to all of you to follow your hearts. Especially when your heart tells you to buy ugly 80s chairs at the flea market.

Luckily, after I missed out on those awesome 80s leather chairs at the flea market, I found a pair of delightful mid-century chairs at TL Gurley in Pasadena, a score for $150/pair.

I snagged this rug from Craigslist, but it was too long for my hallway (sad). At least it was only $150. Let this be a lesson to all of us to measure, and measure, and measure. And then measure again. Nevermind, don’t do that. Measuring is boring.

Working for someone who is obsessed with flowers has its perks. Emily sent me home with these beautiful Magnolias the other day:

Speaking of Magnolias, remember that scene in Magnolia where Julianne Moore freaks out because the pharmacist wont give her drugs? I love that part. Anyway, I moved this Japanese screen into the bedroom because we needed some warmth in there. Because that room is so sunny, it really glows in there. Sometimes I have a hard time going to work because I just want to gaze at it all day. Lately, I’ve been going to work out early in the morning while my boyfriend is still asleep. I’ll stand there looking at him, then at the Japanese screen. Trying to figure out which one I would save in a fire. I’m pretty sure I’d save the screen. I mean my boyfriend. I mean the screen. Okay fine my boyfriend (and the screen).

I’m nixing the lamps in my bedroom (or my living room I can’t decide) and switching them out for these rad sconces from OneFortyThree lighting. I’m obsessed with this company right now. They have tons of pretty, affordable, simple lighting that is unique and well-made. The pair I got were $145 each, which is a great price for new lighting.

Morgan (of The Brick House) is also making awesome/simple lighting for her new brand Camp. I saw some options I’m considering at Shopclass recently (sidenote: Shopclass is my new favorite place. In the world).

I love this geode I saw at Shopclass. It’s not for sale. Yet. But maybe they’ll sell it to me if I offer them enough of my millions (I have too many of them lying around anyway).

I found this dude at The Huntington Collection for $45. He’s so sad, but he makes me so happy.

I love my old pub chairs, but, gurl, they be creeky that they sound like they are going to break every time I sit down. Which any of you FFK’s (Former Fat Kids) out there will know is a legitimate reason to get rid of a piece of furniture. Thus, I’ve decided it’s time to say goodbye.

I’m opting for these beauties from West Elm ($239/set 4).

The reason I loved them so much is that they remind me of these beautiful Calder sculptures:

In the future I aspire for all my furniture to look like sculptures by famous artists.

Another thing that I got rid of was my sleeper sofa. Remember that guy?

I loved that sofa. I designed it myself and the color was a dream come true. The only issue with it is that it wasn’t big enough for two full-grown men to lay on together. And because snuggling and watching “New Girl” is so very important to me, I decided it was time to say goodbye to my beloved sofa. In its place, I got a sofa with a similar look, but deeper and more accommodating to prolonged cuddling.

The sofa is the Dunham Sofa from West Elm. Like Lena Dunham, for whom the sofa is named (not really), my new sofa is comfortable, outspoken, and a little bit edgy. I know I sound like a West Elm commercial right now, but I kind of want everything in there right now. I love my sofa so much I’m trying to force my parents to buy the same one but they’re all “I want a sofa with round arms because round arms are like pillows” and I’m like “Gross. Buy a pillow.” The version of the Dunham sofa I got was $1499. I will be writing more about it on Emily’s blog (including full details on color, etc) next month.

Finally, I found this old sailor dude at Shopclass (I told you, it’s my favorite store now). He kind of reminds me of what I look like on a typical summer Monday. After drinking by the pool all weekend without moisturizing. Oh summer, how I love thee and dread thy impending arrival…

Oh, and the old man painting was $25. Everything at Shopclass is a total bargain.

So, that’s where I’ve been the last month. Mainly just buying stuff. Like a real American. What have you been doing?

Love,
Orlando

PS: Full disclosure, aspects of this post are sponsored by the lovely people at West Elm, including the sofa and the dining chairs (which were both provided gratis).

PSS: Please check back soon for the full story on my apartment’s extreme makeover, featuring professional photographs, more furniture porn, and shout outs to Emily Henderson, who made the whole thing possible.

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Filed under Around The Apartment

by Orblogdo | 16 October 2012 · 3:25 pm

A Pop Of Color Inspired By Pop Art

Dear Diary,

Do you ever have trouble figuring out what color to paint something? For example, I purchased this great coffee table for a client recently. It was red when I bought it. But sadly red wasn’t in the color palette, so I had to paint it another color. But what color?

Sometimes I like to use art as an inspiration for color. This is because artists know more than regular people about what color things should be. Because the home I’m working on has a lot of quirky elements and bright colors, I decided to use Roy Lichtenstein as my inspiration for a pop of color on the coffee table. For those of you who’ve forgotten, Lichtenstein is that artist that made all the pop art that looks like comic books. His work features a lot of rich reds, blues, and yellows.

For the coffee table, I went with a bright yellow. I needed something that would pop like the red did to accentuate the clean, graphic lines of the table.

I’m happy with the way the table turned out and now I want to incorporate even more pop elements into the project.

Love,
Orlando

6 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Clients, D.I. Why?, Design, Do It Yourself!, The Artz

by Orblogdo | 11 October 2012 · 6:30 pm

From Rags To Riches: 1970s Chairs

Dear Ugly Chairs I Found in September,

When I first gazed upon your ugliness, I knew you could be beautiful. So I bought you and reupholstered you in gorgeous grey canvas. Here is what you looked like before:

And here you are now:

I love that you are both slouchy and tailored, tufted and structural.

The cost breakdown is as follows:

2 Chairs from Sunbeam Vintage: $150

4 Yards grey canvas from International Silks and Woolens: $50

Upholstery labor costs: $160

Total: $360

Not bad for a pair of totally unique, high-quality chairs. If you don’t feel like going through all this just for a pair of chairs, you can always buy these from me on Hipswap. Just a suggestion…

Love,
Orlando

Here is the link to my Hipswap shop in case you want to look around…

5 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Buy Me, Collecting, Do It Yourself!, Fun Finds, Furniture, Gimme, I Bought Something

by Orblogdo | 1 October 2012 · 7:26 pm

Let’s Have A Hipswap!

Dear Reader,

Have you dedicated your life to filling your home with beautiful things, only to realize you’re beautiful things are starting to turn your house into a hoardingland? Well, I have. Which is why I’ve decide to do some spring cleaning. Just in time for fall. I’m selling some of my favorite things on Hipswap, which is essentially a more glamorous version of Craigslist that is much easier on the eyes (Sidenote: Dear Craigslist, why does your site still look like it’s 1996?). Anyway, below are is a selection of items I’m selling.

Falling painting, acrylic on canvas.

A ridiculously adorable bird candle holder. You should just buy this and then sell it back to me for five times what you paid. I love it enough that I already want to buy it back. But I don’t need it. Yes I do. No I don’t.

A lovely California flag.

My ridiculously handy sofabed. Making this was a labor of love and I will definitely miss it, but I’ve fallen in love with a new sofa and it’s time to move on… It’s a vintage piece, completely remade in lustrous velvet.

Glamour painting, acrylic on canvas.

Totally cute chair. In my favorite color ever. Love.

Vintage globe. Because everyone needs one.

So what you should do is go to my Hipswap profile, start following me so I can follow you, and then buy stuff. Then I can buy more stuff to replace the stuff I’m selling. And the cycle will just continue forever and ever. I’m scared.

Love,

Orlando

6 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Buy Me, Collecting, I Bought Something

by Orblogdo | 25 September 2012 · 6:57 am

Around The Apartment – What’s Happening in the Hallway

Dear Diary,

One of my favorite aspects of my apartment is that it has a glamourous hallway dressing area where I can spin around every morning whilst looking in the mirror, fearing all the day has in store for me. This area is where I keep the majority of my clothing. It also has a random built-in dresser. My apartment building was built in the 1950s and for some reason has a ridiculous amount of storage space. Which is good for me because I hate throwing things away. For example, I own this hideous Garfield shirt:

I know. I know. It’s disgusting. But I love it. I don’t know why it just makes me happy. The only thing cooler would be a Cathy shirt ACK!) or maybe one of those Big Dog shirts from the 90s (Remember those? They were so cool). My point is that I need a lot of storage space because I have loads and loads of ugly clothes. And so I’m thankful for all the storage space my apartment has to offer. I also love that the built-in dresser in my hallway makes for a beautiful vignette.

This photo is actually just an oversized postcard I bought at the Whitney Biennial four years ago. It was documentation of a dance performance/installation by Fritz Haeg that took place in the museum. Also, it is a constant reminder to stretch every morning.

The mirror is from the Rose Bowl Flea Market. $100. It’s a gorgeous, heavy old piece. I bought the deer hook at Urban Outfitters for $28. I use it to hang all my ugly bracelets, ugly necklaces, and ugly rings. I keep some of my bow ties on a vintage wood tray and all my sunglasses on a raku tray I made years ago at Pretentious Summer Camp. Because all gays love Warhol, I have his delightful Red Books Polaroid collection on display (you can get your own for $60 on Powells, I highly recommend it).

The only thing I’m not loving right now is the wall color. It’s a little too beige for my taste. I hate beige a lot. Almost as much as I hate those totally annoying and gross Svedka sex robot vodka ads (How do they exist? They are so unbelievably, outrageously creepy and disgusting!). So, yeah, I hate the wall color and I’m playing with the idea of painting the hallway a pretty grey.

But then I’m all “Oh, Self, why must you paint everything grey all the time?” I recently bought grey sheets for my bed. And then I made the bed whilst wearing grey sweatpants, a grey shirt, grey socks, and grey underwear. Grey is so easy and so calming. But life shouldn’t always be easy and calming. Sometimes it should be bright, crazy, and ridiculous (like my ugly hair in high school). Which is why I was so excited to find this Flamingo Wallpaper from Cole and Son:

I never met a flamingo print I didn’t like. And this one is so good.

I might also just paint the hallway a dark, sexy color. It doesn’t get a whole of light so that could help give the space a moody, glamourous look.

I’m still not sure what color I’m going to paint the walls. The one thing I am certain of is that I will continue to wear my ugly clothes and thus will continue to need storage space for them. If I’m going to run around dressed like a 90s cartoon character, at least my dressing space can look chic.

Love,
Orlando

13 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, California, Collecting, Design, Interiors, Orlando's Place

by Orblogdo | 18 September 2012 · 6:32 pm

God Hates Flags (No He Doesn’t)

Dear Flags,

You’re all over the place these days. I started obsessing when I saw this image from Design Sponge. Of course, the whole thing is reliant on how aged and full of history that flag is. This Ikea Malm Bed looks totally cool because it’s surrounded by that great flag and a bunch of other awesome stuff.

This barn exists on Highway 41, outside my hometown of Yosemite Village, California. I’ve always been fascinated with it, even though it was probably painted by crazy xenophobes who run around accusing everyone of being terrorists.

You know how sometimes you’re like “I want distinctive and interesting drapery!” and then you can’t find any. Well these people just used an old flag and it looks great. Let this be a lesson to you.

This look is a little more clean, modern, and Jasper Johns-y, but it works well with the all-white decor in this room.

And now onto a flag that I like even more than the American flag. The Californian flag. Everyone who knows me knows I am a blowhard about the fact that California is the best state in the Union. And our flag, with its adorable fluffy bear, is the best flag in the world. Here is the original one:

Here is another vintage flag. The font is a lot more delicate than the current one.

And this girl. She’s all “Hay, I moved to California because I’m blonde!” The frame on the flag makes it a lot more elegant.

This is a painting of the flag. Pretty adorable.

If you’ve ever been to California, you know most of our time is spent on the back of vintage vehicles, driving around clad in Levi’s, quoting Walt Whitman whilst enjoying the vast natural landscape of our great Golden State. Because none of us have jobs or responsibilities, we spend the entirety of our lives celebrating our freedom whilst listening to Joni Mitchell.

And so when I found an awesome vintage California flag I was excited. I hung it in my bedroom above my bed.

My boyfriend was all “I think we should clean this.” And I was all “Duh. Like me, the fact that this flag is dirty and tattered is what makes it so cool.” This flag has been loved so much, has flown high above a California schoolhouse, and now lives happily above my bed.

I love the face the bear is making. He’s like, “Oh my god did you know Rianna’s name is actually pronounced “REE-ANNA?” Gross. I liked her so much more when I thought it was pronounced “REE-ONNA.” It’s a scientific fact that our state bear is totally sassy.

Each night, before I go to bed, I pledge allegiance to the flag of California. Mainly because it provides so many wonderful decorative applications.

Love,
Orlando

8 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, California, Californiatimez, Collecting, Interiors

by Orblogdo | 6 September 2012 · 10:13 pm

Around The Apartment: Let’s Paint Something!

Dear Diary,

Lately I’ve been working at home a lot. Sometimes I love working from home. I can drink coffee all day whilst listening to NPR and not wearing any pants. But sometimes it makes me feel like a crazy person. The late summer heat makes me feel restless and being alone all day with only Facebook chat and the crisp, clear voice of Lachshmi Singh to keep me company can totally isolating. Thus, I’ve decided to go back to my roots as a lunatic artist. I figure if I have to be alone all day I might as well become a weirdo recluse that makes dumb paintings and spends the rest of the day rearranging pots of succulents. That is pretty much what I do anyway so this wont be a major change of pace for me.

This is what my dining room looks like right now. Mess. Kind of like your mom.

According to my scientific calculations, I like the color blue.

My glamourous (and clever) friend World-Famous Interior Designer Matthew Lanphier had this canvas in his living room, waiting for me to paint it. In the interim, he put some vinyl lettering on it and hung it above his sofa. Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you don’t have an artist friend you can manipulate into making a painting for you, just think of something witty and write it on a blank canvas with vinyl letters (you can get these at any hardware store). This will make people think you are smart and popular and everyone will want to be your friend.

For some unknown reason my new thing is painting geometric shapes and juxtaposing them against organic, watercolored fields of color. I have no idea what this means but it probably has something to do with the fact that I was raised in the middle of the woods but always wanted to have pores so tiny that it looked like my skin was made out of plastic.

This is what my bedroom looked like until this morning. I was never really satisfied with the composition of the art on the wall but I didn’t know what to do so I just lived with it. Kind of like Katie Holmes lived with Tom Cruise for five years before she ran screaming and flailing from the house.

I used to be obsessed with gallery walls and wanted to put them everywhere. But I’m sort of getting tired of them and now I just want enormous paintings everywhere. Collected gallery walls have their place, but you just can’t beat a big ass painting.

This is what the bedroom looks like now. I made this painting for Matthew Lanphier but now I kind of want it for myself. I hate it when that happens.

I had to put the painting in my bedroom because I loved it so much I wanted to sleep with it. Wink.

I’m also experimenting with having this gigantic cactus in my bedroom. I know it’s terrifying, but I love how sculptural it is. Plus, I grew it from a baby and I’m really proud of how big it’s gotten. I’ve had it since I was sixteen. Which wont be any consolation when it falls over on my face one night while I’m sleeping and I have to wear a Phantom of the Opera mask for the rest of my life.

How pretty is this succulent? The bright color makes me so happy I want to bite it in half.

A fun fact about me is that I am dating a convict and he stole this succulent and gave it to me. Part of that story is true (but I wont tell which part).

Like most modern homosexuals, I like to casually display books and plants to let people know that I not only love literature, I also love nature.

I made this piece for my kitchen. You really can’t go wrong with a pink painting. Ever.

I found this mask at Goodwill for $5 and fell in love with it. I have no idea where it’s from because I’m not a professional anthropologist but it looks like it could be from Mexico.

Perhaps I haven’t solved the issues of boredom and isolation that come with working from home, but at least I have a few more things to ogle while I do. And what is the point of life if it isn’t to sit by yourself, ogling the objects around you that will never be able to replace actual human companionship?

Love,
Orlando

24 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Californiatimez, Collecting, Design, Interiors

by Orblogdo | 15 August 2012 · 5:56 pm

21 Shelves I Want In My Life Right Now

Dear My Non-Existent Shelves,

Each day I when wake up, dewy-eyed and ready to start the day, the first thing I think to myself is, “Gee, I wish I had some shelves to put all these stacks of books in.” Sure, stacks of books make a home look inviting and lived-in, but shelving is glamour on a whole new level.

These shelves look like something I would make if I had the skills. Rectangular and crazy looking (like my face). AND they double as stairs. (Double win).

These shelves are pretty minimal and would be boring if it weren’t for all the wonderful books crammed into them.

This is what happens in real life when a client wants shelving: They’re all “I want shelving to make my space look more inviting and lived-in, like an old library.” And then I’m all “Well you better have a TON of books and knickknacks, because we’re going to need a lot to fill those shelves.” And then they’re like “Oh I have plenty of books.” Then they hand me six books and cat figurine and tell me to get started on the shelves. Then I’m all “That’s not enough, we need like 30,000 times this much stuff to fill these shelves!” And then they punch me in the face and I leave and tell them to style their own shelves. Usually the shelves end up looking like this because everyone loves coral:

There should always be shelves under the stairs. It should be against the law NOT to have shelving under the stairs. Another thing that should be against the law: those disgusting chairs.

Library + huge windows = dream come true.

Library + no windows = room where insider deals are made and secrets are kept.

This fireplace/shelving combination makes me slightly worried that all those books would go up in flames, but it’s worth it because this looks so beautiful. Also, maybe they’re really bad books and they deserve to burn. Just kidding. Don’t burn books, it’s bad.

Look at this pleasant little sun room. Can’t you just imagine sitting in that chair, staring at all the books you never plan to read?

This shelving provides a clever room divider. You know what else is a room divider? Abortion. Never bring it up at a dinner party.

I love how chic and minimal these are.

How far would you go to have this office? That circular shelf on the ceiling is to die for.

Glamourous and bright with a million books. That’s how I want my whole life to be.

Another example of a stairs/shelves combo. This works every time. I’m going to write my senator about getting that shelves under stairs law passed.

The height of this shelf reminds me of that scene in ‘Beauty and the Beast’ where Beast takes Belle to see the library and it’s totally crazy and enormous and out of control and she gets, like, really excited. Sidenote: one time I took a guy on a date to see ‘Beauty and the Beast’ at a movie theatre. Word from the wise: don’t ever take a man on a date to see ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ Instead of making you look attractive and intelligent (which you are) it will reveal to your guy that you are, in fact, a seven-year old girl (which you are).

Whitewashed wood, modular seating, clever sconces. Me-OW.

I love this giant sofa for your one million friends to sit on whilst they read the one million books in the shelving above their heads.

I’m pretty sure this is just stacked Ikea Expedit shelves, but it looks GOOD.

I love diagonal shelves, although I learned the hard way (by making one myself) that they are totally impractical and hard to use (it’s hard to get the books out because of the weight). But hey, most pretty things are impractical so it would be worth it to see all these fun diagonal lines. I think….

This is the shelf I designed. It was impossible to use. But I loved it.

I’ve never met a person who didn’t want a secret room hiding behind a shelf-door. It is the most exciting thing one could have in a home. Think of all the fun you could have in your secret room, playing with your gold pieces and looking through your treasure chest.

Can you imagine if this were your shelf and someone was like “Can I see that book up there at the top?” And then you’d have to go out and buy a huge ladder, drive it home, and lug it up the stairs just to let them see your copy of ‘Reba: My Story’ by Reba McEntire.

I’m going to spend the rest of the day thinking about shelving whilst cursing the piles of books all over my apartment. And so can you!

Love,
Orlando

20 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Design, Interiors

by Orblogdo | 25 July 2012 · 6:30 pm

RIP: Rest In Paintings

Dear My Bed,

I love you, but you need a headboard. Right now, you look like this:

So depressing I may as well be in prison. Okay, so my bed has striped sheets, pillows, and a blanket on it. But it’s still missing something. It’s in desperate need of a headboard. And what better for a headboard than a giant piece of art? I love the idea of sleeping with a huge piece of art looming over my head. I mean, who wouldn’t want an enormous egg floating above the bed?

This one is pretty and minimal, the white laundry speaks to the stark white of the room.

This isn’t necessarily my style but I think it’s very pretty. And the addition of tall, built-in bookshelves makes the space even more inviting.

Not sure if I love this framed photo, but look how well the color goes with the knit blanket.

This graphic piece is awesome. Also, if this person lives in an earthquake zone they are probably going to be cut in half during the next earthquake. Hanging glass over the bed can be dangerous. I have a rule about hanging art over my bed: If the piece can fall off the wall and accidentally chop my head off, I try not to hang it directly over where I’m sleeping. That is the Californian way.

That being said, I might risk having my head chopped off to have this delightful piece hanging above me as I slumber.

Ugh, Marilyn Minter. Why does your stupid art have to cost so many millions? I want all of it.

This is a great idea for a DIY painting-headboard. It’s not as fancy as having a Minter hanging above your bed, but on the upside it’s just canvas so it won’t decapitate you in the event of an earthquake.

This is painted directly onto the wall, totally great idea for a child’s room. Or for someone too, like, poverty-stricken to afford an actual headboard. Like me.

Look at these awesome drawings-as-headboards. Accented by decorative moulding! Get in my bed!

This big, bold, graphic piece is the perfect addition to this totally, like, minimal and boring room.

And finally, my favorite. I think I’m going to go for this vibe with my headboard. I love the simplified landscape and that gorgeous color palette. How could you not have sweet dreams under that?

In conclusion, I want all of these headboards.

Love,
Orlando

12 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, California, D.I. Why?, The Artz

by Orblogdo | 20 July 2012 · 11:25 pm

Tourlando: My-So Called Neighborhood

Dear Hollywood Hills West,

You’re a weird place. Kind of Hollywood. Kind of West Hollywood. Kind of Los Angeles. I moved into this part of town because I wanted to find a place as green as West Hollywood, but without all that appletini-scented-gay-gutter-bar-trash you find in the heart of WeHo (sorry, you know it’s true). Thus, I moved a neighborhood I thought was Hollywood. Only to find out months later that it was really called Hollywood Hills West. What attracted me to this place is that everything is so sprawling and mid-century. We have tons of eco-unfriendly lawns, palm trees up the ying-yang, and lots of pretty tropical vegetation that would probably be more at home in the Amazon than Los Angeles.

I knew I loved this neighborhood when I spotted my building for the first time, glowing a mint green color that warms my heart, calling to me like a siren.

This is the building I see out my window every morning as I wake up, wide-eyed and ready to take the world by storm (as soon as I drink 17 cups of coffee and whine for an hour about being tired).

I hate this color of brick, but that doesn’t stop me from loving this font. You can really do a lot by just adding pretty numbers to your building (stay tuned for more exciting examples!).

According to evidence I have collected, the owners of Breezy Freeze Snowball Company live near me. Jealous? (Sidenote: I’ve never had a Breezy Freeze Snowball but I can tell you based on the color of their van that it’s delicious).

In my neighborhood, quirky fonts are the norm. Boring fonts, GO HOME!

This building is one of my favorites because it’s so geometric, intimidating, and stark. Kind of like a Stanley Kubrick movie.

Look how scary and intimidating the entry is. I want to live in there.

Again, not a fan of the bricks but you can’t deny those clean lines. If this were my building I’d probably paint those bricks white or just put concrete over them. That’s terrible but I hate bricks like that. I know, I get it, totally ruins the historical accuracy of it but it could be SO much prettier if the surface was as simple and elegant as the architecture itself.

I love any building covered in plants. Unless the plant is poison ivy.

I moved to Los Angeles because I wanted to live in a city where I could see trees. I get depressed if I don’t see trees. Also, it’s nice to have flowering trees scenting the air, distracting you from the fact that you are breathing in more pollution than anyone in the rest of the United States of America.

I love these guard lions on the house up the street. It’s kind of ridiculous because the house is so cute and non-intimidating, but that’s part of the joke.

I also love how cute little houses like this that would cost $150,000 in a normal place are worth like 6 million dollars in LA. Okay that’s probably an exaggeration, but you get my point. Someday, when I’m 57 years old, I hope to save up enough money to buy a dumpster to convert into an efficient and charming home for me and my 16 cats to live in.

You know you’ve made it when there is so much vegetation in front of your door that you can barely see it.

This is the house. I want it. It’s squared-off Spanish shape makes me happy, scared, and a little turned on.

These geniuses painted their house an awesome color of yellow, shielded it with plants, and then parked their totally Gay Jeep in front of it. Triple win!

This color of grey totally heightens this otherwise unremarkable home. God that was so rude. If whoever owns this unremarkable home is reading this, I apologize. Also, can I have your house? It was just called unremarkable on a very important blog so you should probably move.

One of the most exciting attractions in my neighborhood is this ridiculously huge hedge. I think they put it up to protect residents from the rowdy people in line at the Laugh Factory (across the street). Added benefit: we are all protected from the ugly building behind the hedge (it’s supes gross).

Every time I pass the hedge, I think of a book I read a lot when I was a child, The Garden of Abdul Gasazi by Chris Van Allsburg. It’s filled with beautiful illustrations.

See! More zany typography. It makes the building so much hipper than it would be otherwise.

Giant tropical plant, HAY!

This building is disgusting and falling apart. But check out that aqua! Yum!

I think this building might be ugly. But I love the simplicity of the lines. So maybe it’s beautiful? Help me.

That pretty tree looks like it jumped out of a Japanese painting. Glamourtree.

This building has been my one true love for a while. It’s yet another example of how a good font can really change a whole building. Sure, the lines are classic and the beautiful stone slabs look expensive. But really it’s the lovely font, those strong 5‘s and that satisfying 0. If you look at this building from the side it’s just another apartment building with weird balconies and stucco siding. But the front makes it look like the most luxurious apartment building on the planet.