Category Archives: California

What You Should Do In San Francisco

Dear World,

A wise man once said the following:

“My brain lives in New York, my body lives in Los Angeles, and my heart lives in San Francisco.”

That wise man was me. San Francisco just feels like home, always has. My family visited quite a bit during my childhood so I have a lot of memories of being a little boy there, wandering around the SFMOMA with my mom or begrudgingly going to Giants games with my dad (I like them more now that there is beer involved).

I went to San Francisco a few weeks ago to visit family. And here’s what I saw:

The futuristic people mover at SFO:

sfo

The BART system, which, if your family doesn’t love you enough to pick you up from the airport, can take you to and from the airport (Sidenote: hey, LA, have you heard of this idea? Public transit to the airport? It’s super fun and, like, useful).

skyline

Chow, a great casual little restaurant in the Castro.

chow

Venga Empenadas in the Mission, close to my sister’s apartment. I’ve never eaten there but I’m kind of obsessed with the signage.

empanadas

My sister took me to a great bookstore where I found some amazing books at even more amazing prices. Phoenix Books in Noe Valley has tons of delightful books to ogle, including these two art books I bought for $20 each.

fabien-baron

book

Mill Mercantile is a pretty store for the ladies. And if you’re looking for a $500 duffle bag, you’re in luck!

mill

My favorite store by far in San Francisco is Monument. They carry a ton of mid-century furniture and accessories, all of it perfectly curated and totally amazing. It’s the kind of store that both excites you and fills you with rage, because I want everything in there but it all costs $4.7 million.

monument-sf

I coveted this globe:

globe

And this awesome pine branch wall decor:

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And this Cherner pretzel chair.

pretzel-chair

And this ridiculous stool, that looks like it fell out of Kelly Wearstler’s handbag:

stool

There is always a lot to stare at in San Francisco and I’m always sad to leave. I’ll be going back soon though. Hopefully to buy everything at Monument.

Love,
Orlando

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New Year, New Yule

Dear My Family,

This year marked an important milestone for us, our last Christmas in Yosemite. For those out there that don’t know this FunFact, I was raised within the confines of America’s first preserved natural space, Yosemite National Park (yes, inside the park boundaries, my parents worked there). Every Christmas in my memory has been the same. My family always gathered at my parents’ house to eat too much, drink too much, and then go on long, guilty walks to work off that post-holiday fat feeling. This year we lucked out with a ton of snow, which always contributes to a Merrier Christmas. Because I grew up in the snow, I’ve never been comfortable with the snowless Christmases we have down here in LA. There’s something off-putting about decorating your tree when it’s 80 degrees outside (which I have done multiple times).

Next year, my parents will be leaving the house I grew up in. In all honesty, I’m not super excited about their move, I’m going to miss our house and Yosemite. But next year will bring new opportunities and experiences to our family. Also, they’re moving to Sonoma County so at least I’ll still have a pretty place to visit. Below are some images of Yosemite as I saw it over the many winters I spent there. It’s truly a magical place and I high suggest you spend a winter holiday there sometime.

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This is our street, covered in snow.

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My car, which didn’t like the snow as much as I did.

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Our house (if you look hard you can see Yosemite Falls in the background).

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The street where I grew up.

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Our neighbor’s adorable house.

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The Merced River.

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Yosemite Falls. How much do you love those pine trees? Their foliage looks like pom-poms.

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Our little walking path, complete with split-rail fencing.

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The old apple orchard near my house. When Yosemite was first founded, the settlers had livestock and farmed. Clearly, the agriculture went against the natural preservation of the park so it was later removed, but back then it was a long horse ride (or hike) into the valley so it made sense to grow food up there.

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Big chunky flakes of snow falling from the sky.

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What I feel like on the inside when big chunky flakes of snow fall from the sky.

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Creeping clouds mingle with Yosemite Falls.

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The small grammar school I attended.

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Our neighbor’s back yard.

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The bay laurel tree is native to Yosemite, you can see one from our dining room. Its leaves are great for soup. Or tea if you like gross tea that tastes like bay leaves (my boyfriend does, I don’t get it).

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Even in Yosemite, you can wear gay jeans and homosexual sunglasses (In my defense, this picture is five years old. Just kidding there is no defense for that outfit. I hate myself).

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My sister and me at the Ahwahnee Hotel, which always has glorious holiday decorations (see below).

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The chapel where my brother got married. In related news, my sister can’t get married to her (female) fiance there because only unions sanctioned by the US government are allowed at the park’s only chapel. Rude.

A few more Merced River shots:

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And finally, this Ansel Adams image (entitled “El Capitan in Winter).

This image captures perfectly what winter in Yosemite means to me. Beauty. Wonder. Tradition. I’ll miss all of these things when my parents move away. But at least I’ll have these photographs to remember them by. Here’s to a New Year of making new memories in new places. New places like Sonoma County, where they have lots of delicious wine. And to a new year of being thankful for the memories I’ve spent my life creating.

2013 or bust!

Love,
Orlando

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Los Angeles in Instagramz

Dear Diary,

Are you curious what I’ve been up to and what I’ve been seeing? Me neither! But I’m going to show you anyway. Here is what I’ve been gawking at the last few weeks:

The loading dock at Blueprint Furniture.

David Furnish’s 50th Birthday at Greystone Manor.

The lovely typography of Gallery Brown on Orlando Avenue.

Gorgeous new plants from Mickey Hartigay Plants, where Mickey’s staff kindly replanted our succulents into gorgeous pots (also available there) for free. See below:

New hybrid cactus my handsome boyfriend discovered at Mickey’s. At home on the bedside table.

Ridiculously cute new Gold Pig Bookends from CB2 sit on my bedroom dresser. I’m in love with them.

Just a typical November Sunday in Los Angeles, 90° outside.

Sofa upholstery fabric at the Pasadena Antique Center.

Giant painting I made for Jon’s Place.

A new Architectural Digest and some tea.

Voting in Windsor Square, near Larchmont Boulevard in Los Angeles.

Love,
Orlando

You can see the rest of my Instas and follow me:

Instagram.com/Oar_Lawn_Doe

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Yosemite: Autumnal Instagramz

Dear Diary,

I returned home over the weekend for a friend’s wedding celebration. In addition to the celebratory food and drink I inhaled at her party, I also inhaled the beauty of autumn in Yosemite. Naturally, I Insta’d as much as I could. After all, if a tree exists in a forest but you don’t Instagram it, does it really exist? (No).

Yosemite Falls, minus the falls.

Yosemite’s famous lone maple tree. It sits by itself at the edge of the field, telling everyone when fall arrives. It wears the brightest colors in Yosemite, which reminds me a lot of myself as a Yosemite teenager.

I have no idea what amazing child made this awesome horseplate but if I were a fancy gallerist I’d totally put this in my fancy gallery.

When you live in Yosemite, you get used to seeing deer outside your windows. In fact, we refer to them as “Forest Rats.”

Autumn colors in Yosemite tend to be neon yellows and greens. Not a lot of bright red like you see back East.

“Hey Girl. You going to eat that whole apple? We hungry.”

In Yosemite, you don’t really drive to the store unless it’s snowing, so when I came across this must-have pumpkin, I took it home on my bicycle.

The greys and yellows make for a glamourous fall color palette.

Here’s a deer eating something. Boring.

Fun Fall-Winter drink: Mulled apple cider with brandy. I haven’t liked Brandy this much since Moesha. This drink is even more fun in a seasonally inappropriate Santa Mug (we’ve had this one since I was born).

The drive home, up California’s iconic Grapevine Freeway. Pretty ugly, right?

Wherever you are, run toward the closest forest and look for some fall color. Hurry!

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under California, Californiatimez, Fun In Nature, Halloween, Instagramz, Outdoor Art, Photographs, Yosemite

Whut Glamour: Chris Camargo’s Los Angeles

Dear Chris Camargo,

I love the beautiful images of Los Angeles you kindly share on your photo blog. You capture our city the way only somebody who truly loves it could. If you’re having a bad day, hating the smog, plastic surgery, and superficiality that gives this city a bad rap, take a look at these pretty pictures:

These pictures make me happy.

Love,
Orlando

PS: Check out Chris Camargo’s professional site for more fashion and commercial photographs.

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Filed under California, Californiatimez, I Love LA, Images I Love, Uncategorized

My So-Called Barber

Dear Self,

Are you ever like “Hey, this is the worst day of my life and I feel like a moldy thrown-away tortilla on Seis De Mayo”? Well there is one sure-fire way to cheer yourself up on days like these. All you have to do is go to the nearest barber or hair salon and ask them to chop of all of your hair. There is nothing more therapeutic than running into a chic salon and screaming “CUT IT OFF ME!!!!” with tears streaming down your withered face, bony face.

The other day I was feeling like an ugly Rumpelstiltskin. The best thing to do when you feel like a disgusting hogface is to get a haircut. I guarantee it will always make you feel better. If you have the right stylist that is. If not it will ruin your life. This is why I go to Shane at The Cut By Barbershop. He looks like this:

The Cut By Barbershop is kind of like a speakeasy. There is no sign outside. When you make an appointment you are given the top secret location. Then when you get there you’re like “where am I?” Then you walk in the door and you’re like “What? How is this amazing barbershop still such a secret?” And then you feel super cool for knowing about a place that is so secret even the owner hardly knows it exists.

The exposed beam ceiling is pretty cool. Shane has added a lot of lighting to this place to make sure you can see your perfect new haircut and dazzling white teeth.

Have you ever been like “I want a giant mirror!” and then you look for giant mirrors and realize they cost more than a brand new Mercedes? Mirrors are ridiculously expensive. Which is why I love this totally clever idea Shane implemented in his shop. He used vintage brass closet doors as mirrors. It not only looks industrial chic, it also gets points for being so inventive.

I love this vintage Mobil Pegasus. His actually lights up. And that dog is so adorable I want to put it in a glass cage and stare at it forever.

The shop is filled with cool object, including these horns.

Percentage of times I’ve had a drink whilst getting a haircut: 0%
Percentage of times I’ve wanted a drink whilst getting a haircut: 100%

I love the design of these Hudson Whiskey labels. I like whiskey, but seeing that bottle makes me like it ever more.

One time when I was little our next door neighbor used to wear a helmet while she raked the yard. She did this because she was scared an acorn would fall from high above and end her life. Her fear of acorns did not stop me and my siblings from making fun of her every day. Fast forward to me seeing this helmet at Shane’s shop. Would it be weird if I started wearing a motorcycle helmet, even though I don’t ride a motorcycle? I hope not because I want to wear this one every day. To the gym, to the movies. To your wedding. Everywhere!

There is nothing more American than barbershops, so I was happy to see this American flag on the wall.

Why do I not own this speaker and/or fully understand what it is? It is so beautiful.

If you find yourself in Hollywood and look up to see this sign in a window, run inside immediately and get a haircut. Hurry!

A strange truth about this place is that as soon as I started going I found out all my stupid friends go there too but never told me about it. It was like some weird secret society that no one invited me to. Meanwhile I was outside laying on he pavement eating a whole cake by myself. Not really. But I felt so left out of this barberglamour. Which is why I am telling you about it now. Because I am such a good person.

Look how cool this mid-century barber chair is. Looks kinda like an Eames chair…

I’m pretty sure Shane has a trunk hoarding problem, because there are a lot of trunks at The Cut By.

That damn speaker again. Mine.

And here’s me with a fresh new haircut. No longer a moldy tortilla, I feel like a hot tamale!

Thanks for the glamourtimez, Shane. I’ll be back soon.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under Beauty, Bodytimez, California, Hollywoodtimez, Men's Grooming, Whut Glamour!

Oh My God Where Did You Get That ADORABLE Nazi Tee?

Dear Reader,

The other day I was at the gym when I spotted a dude wearing this T-Shirt from American Apparel.

It’s a pretty rad shirt. I love pink. I love triangles. And I love graphic tees. But the shirt is also a political statement. Now, not only can you buy ugly/ironic non-functioning spectacles and short shorts at American Apparel (thank god), you can also buy fashionably political t-shirts. Is this cool? Or perplexing? Or both? Also, I want one. Is that okay?

And now for a mini Gay history lesson, as told by someone whose knowledge of Gay history is almost as thin as Nicole Ritchie in that famous running-on-the-beach-in-a-diaper photograph.

The pink triangle was originally used by Nazis to label the Gays in concentration camps. It was appropriated by Gays in the 1970s and made popular by the Act Up movement. For those of you who don’t know Act Up, it was started by Homo Activist Larry Kramer in the 80s in response to the fact that Ronald Reagan was doing nothing about a health crisis that was killing the entire Gay community. In short, Act Up was an advocacy group that protested the government’s lack of action in AIDS research and the provision of experimental AIDS treatments for people with AIDS. They were fighting to save lives, and were thus awesome.  They protested and protested. The protests looked like this:

The Act Up protests often attracted counter protesters like these:

…Um, yes I do. Have you seen me?

Artists, like Keith Haring (above) played a huge role in Act Up, creating visuals to spread their message. Sidenote: I love Keith Haring. Love. Love. Love.

The signature of Act Up is the triangle. Which is right side up, unlike the upside down triangle used to label the Gays in Nazi concentration camps. Inverting the Nazi triangle was a way of negating it, flipping it on its head to use it as a symbol of Gay empowerment. A lot of interesting art was made utilizing that pink triangle:

Which brings me back to this American Apparel t-shirt:

Why is the triangle upside down, Nazi-style? Obviously there is some sort of appropriation/subversion thing going on considering American Apparel owner Dov Charney is Jewish, as is this model (who I know in real life because all Gay people living in Los Angeles know each other. It’s true). But I’m still a little confused…

I don’t disapprove of this shirt because American Apparel has made it clear that they are pro-Gay and pro-Jew. But it does seem kind of crazy to sell a shirt with a Nazi symbol on it without explanation. In all honesty, they probably put the triangle upside down because it’s more flattering than a regular triangle, accentuating your broad shoulders and that tiny little waist! And wouldn’t you prefer the Nazi triangle to the Act Up triangle if the Nazi one makes you look better? Don’t answer that.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under Amazing Gays, Beauty, California, Californiatimez, Fashonz, Gays

Whut Glamour: Union Station

Dear Diary,

I’ve always loved Union Station in downtown Los Angeles. Recently I snapped some pictures there and I’d like to share them with you. The building’s style is Mission Revival and it opened in 1939. It’s has a ton of history and (GASP!) is an actual functioning train station where you can catch the train to go down south to Long Beach or up north to San Francisco. If you’ve never taken the train in California, you must! The train tracks take you along agricultural fields and grand, golden California vistas. As for Union Station, it looks like this:

Union Station even inspired this photo by Chris Camargo, who has an excellent Photo Blog:

So whatever you’re doing. It’s not important. Go to Union Station immediately and bask in the glamour of one of our nation’s most beautiful old train stations.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under California, Design, Hollywood Diary, I Love LA, Whut Glamour!

Around The Apartment – What’s Happening in the Hallway

Dear Diary,

One of my favorite aspects of my apartment is that it has a glamourous hallway dressing area where I can spin around every morning whilst looking in the mirror, fearing all the day has in store for me. This area is where I keep the majority of my clothing. It also has a random built-in dresser. My apartment building was built in the 1950s and for some reason has a ridiculous amount of storage space. Which is good for me because I hate throwing things away. For example, I own this hideous Garfield shirt:

I know. I know. It’s disgusting. But I love it. I don’t know why it just makes me happy. The only thing cooler would be a Cathy shirt ACK!) or maybe one of those Big Dog shirts from the 90s (Remember those? They were so cool). My point is that I need a lot of storage space because I have loads and loads of ugly clothes. And so I’m thankful for all the storage space my apartment has to offer. I also love that the built-in dresser in my hallway makes for a beautiful vignette.

This photo is actually just an oversized postcard I bought at the Whitney Biennial four years ago. It was documentation of a dance performance/installation by Fritz Haeg that took place in the museum. Also, it is a constant reminder to stretch every morning.

The mirror is from the Rose Bowl Flea Market. $100. It’s a gorgeous, heavy old piece. I bought the deer hook at Urban Outfitters for $28. I use it to hang all my ugly bracelets, ugly necklaces, and ugly rings. I keep some of my bow ties on a vintage wood tray and all my sunglasses on a raku tray I made years ago at Pretentious Summer Camp. Because all gays love Warhol, I have his delightful Red Books Polaroid collection on display (you can get your own for $60 on Powells, I highly recommend it).

The only thing I’m not loving right now is the wall color. It’s a little too beige for my taste. I hate beige a lot. Almost as much as I hate those totally annoying and gross Svedka sex robot vodka ads (How do they exist? They are so unbelievably, outrageously creepy and disgusting!). So, yeah, I hate the wall color and I’m playing with the idea of painting the hallway a pretty grey.

But then I’m all “Oh, Self, why must you paint everything grey all the time?” I recently bought grey sheets for my bed. And then I made the bed whilst wearing grey sweatpants, a grey shirt, grey socks, and grey underwear. Grey is so easy and so calming. But life shouldn’t always be easy and calming. Sometimes it should be bright, crazy, and ridiculous (like my ugly hair in high school). Which is why I was so excited to find this Flamingo Wallpaper from Cole and Son:

I never met a flamingo print I didn’t like. And this one is so good.

I might also just paint the hallway a dark, sexy color. It doesn’t get a whole of light so that could help give the space a moody, glamourous look.

I’m still not sure what color I’m going to paint the walls. The one thing I am certain of is that I will continue to wear my ugly clothes and thus will continue to need storage space for them. If I’m going to run around dressed like a 90s cartoon character, at least my dressing space can look chic.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under Around The Apartment, California, Collecting, Design, Interiors, Orlando's Place

My So-Called Client: “Jon”

Dear Everyone,

When I meet new people they often ask me what I do. As soon as I start to answer, they regret asking. My response to this question is always long-winded and tiresome. Firstly, I work for TV’s Emily Henderson (and yes, I always insert the “TV’s” in front of her name, even when addressing her directly). We work on TV stuff, blog stuff, and marketing stuff. I also have my own blog, work on film, TV, and photo shoots, and have my own design clients. So I do a lot of different things and I love all of them. If you ask me what I want to do when I grow up, I’ll tell you. All I want to do when I grow up is everything.

That being said, my passion lies in creating beautiful compositions. Whether they be at a client’s house or on a canvas. I am starting to sound like a cheesy brochure for myself. I just want everyone to know why I’m all of the sudden talking about design clients when before I was talking about gay bodies and searching for the perfect shelving unit.

I have this new client that lives in a gorgeous 1920s apartment in Hollywood. I’m going to call him “Jon” for the purpose of this post. He’s a successful writer and a super nice guy. He happens to write for/produce one of my very favorite television shows so I’m always trying my hardest not to quote it to him when we are meeting (I can’t tell you what show because I’ve promised to keep his identity top secret. Anyone who knows me knows that keeping a secret is nearly impossible for me so this might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life).

Jon’s apartment is totally beautiful. It’s full of character and has tons of gorgeous detail in the moulding. Luckily, the apartment is already painted a pretty color.

According to my scientific calculations, it’s Benjamin Moore Oyster Shell, which is a lovely warm grey color:

This is the living room before he moved in, with the previous tenants’ furniture.

How much do you love that detail in the doorway? I love it so much I want to bite it. And then wear it as a hat. And then take it home to meet my parents.

The crown moulding is a little bit ornate, but we are going very simple and clean with furnishings so the contrast will be nice with the building’s traditional flourishes.

Depending on how we are doing on budget, we might change out this chandelier. It’s beautiful, but a little too small. To me it screams, “Gurl, let’s have some tea with the ladiez!” Which isn’t exactly what you want in a cool bachelor pad inhabited by a hip dude.

Again, this is the furniture from the previous tenant. We are going to be doing the same basic layout though, with a chair and reading lamp situation next to the fireplace.

I’m planning on doing a fun decal in the non-functional fireplace. I like these three:

This is the bedroom but we are going to use it as the writing/music studio. Like me, Jon has many interests which vary from writing hit TV shows to composing his own music. Sidenote: why wasn’t I born with any musical talent? I hate everything.

The apartment has a ton of beautiful windows and so much pretty natural light.

Now onto things I want to buy for Jon. Firstly, this thing:

Okay, I didn’t actually buy it. But it’s ridiculous, right? I can’t decide if it’s ridiculous in a good way or ridiculous in a bad way. I found it at Wertz Brothers.

We got this table from HD Buttercup. Jon likes things that are quirky and unique, so this table ($950) fit the bill perfectly.

We paired the dining table with these mid-century dining chairs. $400 for the set of 4 from Modcrib:

The upholstery on the chairs looks great, but we might have them upholstered in a more vibrant color if we can fit it into the budget.

Because Jon just moved from New York and had zero furniture, we also needed to get him a sofa. He wanted a big comfortable sectional. I wanted clean lines. Our needs met with this piece from Blueprint Furniture. It’s called the Garamond Sectional and it’s a steal at $1199.

Jon loves mid-century, so he was attracted to this vintage piece from Modcrib. $375.

We nabbed this piece for $200 at Sunset Bazaar.

We are using it in the dining room, topped with this lamp from West Elm.

I bought him this awesome rug from Rugs USA for $350.

I found these great wingback chairs ($150/pair) at Modcrib. They have a great, classic shape and a few interesting details that make them more exciting than your average wingback.

I had the chair upholstered in glamorous velvet from Home Fabrics in disgusting Downtown Los Angeles. I used to love the idea of downtown LA. But if you go down there to look at fabrics and buy drapery rods, it’s like hell on earth. It always smells like hot dogs and it’s always 145 degrees (even in winter). There are some trendy parts of Downtown, but those are mostly ridiculously overpriced condos surrounded by homeless encampments. [End rant]. Anyway, sometimes you just have to go Downtown. Mainly when you want to get glamourous velvet for $17.95 a yard. And that makes it worth it.

The price breakdown for these chairs was as follows:

Original Price: $75
Fabric (4 yards for each chair): $80
Uphostery labor: $320

Total: $475

I know that doesn’t sound super cheap, but I dare you to find a chair of that quality that will last as long for $475. These will last forever and the shape and color is so classic that they will only get better with age as they get more worn, cozy, and tattered.

I bought this high boy for the bedroom. $200 from Pepe’s Thrift Shop. Sidenote: Sometimes I wear tank tops to work. So what?!? Who cares.

Unfortunately that mirror won’t hang horizontally so I bought this delightful “O” mirror from Wertz Brothers ($60):

I found this coffee table at TINI. $275.

Red is not in our color pallet, so the plan right now is to paint the coffee table Bunker Hill Green from Benjamin Moore:

This is also from TINI. I haven’t bought it yet because it’s expensive but I love it.

I got these bedside tables for the master bedroom. $95 each from TINI.

Finally I found this beautiful old box for $200. It’s super old and aged (just like my face after a weekend of pool parties and margaritas). I found it at Wertz Brothers and immediately knew I had to have it. It’s going to rest at the end of Jon’s bed.

For the hallway, I founds this burl console table. I actually bought this from myself on my Hipswap shop. I was all “Hey Orlando can I buy that burl table?” and then I was all “Hey, Self, sure!” and then I was like “Hey Orlando can I get a good deal?” and I was all “No” and then I realized I was a terrible person.

I’m probably going to hang a big, graphic piece of art above the console. For now we are using that Frank Lloyd Wright print as a placeholder. The basket is from West Elm. The rug is from Ikea, $25.

There’s still a ton of work to do at Jon’s house. But it’s shaping up quite nicely and I’m glad that we are 90% done with the furniture shopping. I’m excited to get to the next step where I get to start styling everything, hanging art, and making the place look as cool as Jon.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under California, Clients, Fun Finds, Furniture, Worktimez