Category Archives: Collecting

by Orblogdo | 11 October 2012 · 6:30 pm

From Rags To Riches: 1970s Chairs

Dear Ugly Chairs I Found in September,

When I first gazed upon your ugliness, I knew you could be beautiful. So I bought you and reupholstered you in gorgeous grey canvas. Here is what you looked like before:

And here you are now:

I love that you are both slouchy and tailored, tufted and structural.

The cost breakdown is as follows:

2 Chairs from Sunbeam Vintage: $150

4 Yards grey canvas from International Silks and Woolens: $50

Upholstery labor costs: $160

Total: $360

Not bad for a pair of totally unique, high-quality chairs. If you don’t feel like going through all this just for a pair of chairs, you can always buy these from me on Hipswap. Just a suggestion…

Love,
Orlando

Here is the link to my Hipswap shop in case you want to look around…

About these ads

5 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Buy Me, Collecting, Do It Yourself!, Fun Finds, Furniture, Gimme, I Bought Something

by Orblogdo | 1 October 2012 · 7:26 pm

Let’s Have A Hipswap!

Dear Reader,

Have you dedicated your life to filling your home with beautiful things, only to realize you’re beautiful things are starting to turn your house into a hoardingland? Well, I have. Which is why I’ve decide to do some spring cleaning. Just in time for fall. I’m selling some of my favorite things on Hipswap, which is essentially a more glamorous version of Craigslist that is much easier on the eyes (Sidenote: Dear Craigslist, why does your site still look like it’s 1996?). Anyway, below are is a selection of items I’m selling.

Falling painting, acrylic on canvas.

A ridiculously adorable bird candle holder. You should just buy this and then sell it back to me for five times what you paid. I love it enough that I already want to buy it back. But I don’t need it. Yes I do. No I don’t.

A lovely California flag.

My ridiculously handy sofabed. Making this was a labor of love and I will definitely miss it, but I’ve fallen in love with a new sofa and it’s time to move on… It’s a vintage piece, completely remade in lustrous velvet.

Glamour painting, acrylic on canvas.

Totally cute chair. In my favorite color ever. Love.

Vintage globe. Because everyone needs one.

So what you should do is go to my Hipswap profile, start following me so I can follow you, and then buy stuff. Then I can buy more stuff to replace the stuff I’m selling. And the cycle will just continue forever and ever. I’m scared.

Love,

Orlando

6 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Buy Me, Collecting, I Bought Something

by Orblogdo | 25 September 2012 · 6:57 am

Around The Apartment – What’s Happening in the Hallway

Dear Diary,

One of my favorite aspects of my apartment is that it has a glamourous hallway dressing area where I can spin around every morning whilst looking in the mirror, fearing all the day has in store for me. This area is where I keep the majority of my clothing. It also has a random built-in dresser. My apartment building was built in the 1950s and for some reason has a ridiculous amount of storage space. Which is good for me because I hate throwing things away. For example, I own this hideous Garfield shirt:

I know. I know. It’s disgusting. But I love it. I don’t know why it just makes me happy. The only thing cooler would be a Cathy shirt ACK!) or maybe one of those Big Dog shirts from the 90s (Remember those? They were so cool). My point is that I need a lot of storage space because I have loads and loads of ugly clothes. And so I’m thankful for all the storage space my apartment has to offer. I also love that the built-in dresser in my hallway makes for a beautiful vignette.

This photo is actually just an oversized postcard I bought at the Whitney Biennial four years ago. It was documentation of a dance performance/installation by Fritz Haeg that took place in the museum. Also, it is a constant reminder to stretch every morning.

The mirror is from the Rose Bowl Flea Market. $100. It’s a gorgeous, heavy old piece. I bought the deer hook at Urban Outfitters for $28. I use it to hang all my ugly bracelets, ugly necklaces, and ugly rings. I keep some of my bow ties on a vintage wood tray and all my sunglasses on a raku tray I made years ago at Pretentious Summer Camp. Because all gays love Warhol, I have his delightful Red Books Polaroid collection on display (you can get your own for $60 on Powells, I highly recommend it).

The only thing I’m not loving right now is the wall color. It’s a little too beige for my taste. I hate beige a lot. Almost as much as I hate those totally annoying and gross Svedka sex robot vodka ads (How do they exist? They are so unbelievably, outrageously creepy and disgusting!). So, yeah, I hate the wall color and I’m playing with the idea of painting the hallway a pretty grey.

But then I’m all “Oh, Self, why must you paint everything grey all the time?” I recently bought grey sheets for my bed. And then I made the bed whilst wearing grey sweatpants, a grey shirt, grey socks, and grey underwear. Grey is so easy and so calming. But life shouldn’t always be easy and calming. Sometimes it should be bright, crazy, and ridiculous (like my ugly hair in high school). Which is why I was so excited to find this Flamingo Wallpaper from Cole and Son:

I never met a flamingo print I didn’t like. And this one is so good.

I might also just paint the hallway a dark, sexy color. It doesn’t get a whole of light so that could help give the space a moody, glamourous look.

I’m still not sure what color I’m going to paint the walls. The one thing I am certain of is that I will continue to wear my ugly clothes and thus will continue to need storage space for them. If I’m going to run around dressed like a 90s cartoon character, at least my dressing space can look chic.

Love,
Orlando

13 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, California, Collecting, Design, Interiors, Orlando's Place

by Orblogdo | 18 September 2012 · 6:32 pm

God Hates Flags (No He Doesn’t)

Dear Flags,

You’re all over the place these days. I started obsessing when I saw this image from Design Sponge. Of course, the whole thing is reliant on how aged and full of history that flag is. This Ikea Malm Bed looks totally cool because it’s surrounded by that great flag and a bunch of other awesome stuff.

This barn exists on Highway 41, outside my hometown of Yosemite Village, California. I’ve always been fascinated with it, even though it was probably painted by crazy xenophobes who run around accusing everyone of being terrorists.

You know how sometimes you’re like “I want distinctive and interesting drapery!” and then you can’t find any. Well these people just used an old flag and it looks great. Let this be a lesson to you.

This look is a little more clean, modern, and Jasper Johns-y, but it works well with the all-white decor in this room.

And now onto a flag that I like even more than the American flag. The Californian flag. Everyone who knows me knows I am a blowhard about the fact that California is the best state in the Union. And our flag, with its adorable fluffy bear, is the best flag in the world. Here is the original one:

Here is another vintage flag. The font is a lot more delicate than the current one.

And this girl. She’s all “Hay, I moved to California because I’m blonde!” The frame on the flag makes it a lot more elegant.

This is a painting of the flag. Pretty adorable.

If you’ve ever been to California, you know most of our time is spent on the back of vintage vehicles, driving around clad in Levi’s, quoting Walt Whitman whilst enjoying the vast natural landscape of our great Golden State. Because none of us have jobs or responsibilities, we spend the entirety of our lives celebrating our freedom whilst listening to Joni Mitchell.

And so when I found an awesome vintage California flag I was excited. I hung it in my bedroom above my bed.

My boyfriend was all “I think we should clean this.” And I was all “Duh. Like me, the fact that this flag is dirty and tattered is what makes it so cool.” This flag has been loved so much, has flown high above a California schoolhouse, and now lives happily above my bed.

I love the face the bear is making. He’s like, “Oh my god did you know Rianna’s name is actually pronounced “REE-ANNA?” Gross. I liked her so much more when I thought it was pronounced “REE-ONNA.” It’s a scientific fact that our state bear is totally sassy.

Each night, before I go to bed, I pledge allegiance to the flag of California. Mainly because it provides so many wonderful decorative applications.

Love,
Orlando

8 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, California, Californiatimez, Collecting, Interiors

by Orblogdo | 6 September 2012 · 10:13 pm

Around The Apartment: Let’s Paint Something!

Dear Diary,

Lately I’ve been working at home a lot. Sometimes I love working from home. I can drink coffee all day whilst listening to NPR and not wearing any pants. But sometimes it makes me feel like a crazy person. The late summer heat makes me feel restless and being alone all day with only Facebook chat and the crisp, clear voice of Lachshmi Singh to keep me company can totally isolating. Thus, I’ve decided to go back to my roots as a lunatic artist. I figure if I have to be alone all day I might as well become a weirdo recluse that makes dumb paintings and spends the rest of the day rearranging pots of succulents. That is pretty much what I do anyway so this wont be a major change of pace for me.

This is what my dining room looks like right now. Mess. Kind of like your mom.

According to my scientific calculations, I like the color blue.

My glamourous (and clever) friend World-Famous Interior Designer Matthew Lanphier had this canvas in his living room, waiting for me to paint it. In the interim, he put some vinyl lettering on it and hung it above his sofa. Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you don’t have an artist friend you can manipulate into making a painting for you, just think of something witty and write it on a blank canvas with vinyl letters (you can get these at any hardware store). This will make people think you are smart and popular and everyone will want to be your friend.

For some unknown reason my new thing is painting geometric shapes and juxtaposing them against organic, watercolored fields of color. I have no idea what this means but it probably has something to do with the fact that I was raised in the middle of the woods but always wanted to have pores so tiny that it looked like my skin was made out of plastic.

This is what my bedroom looked like until this morning. I was never really satisfied with the composition of the art on the wall but I didn’t know what to do so I just lived with it. Kind of like Katie Holmes lived with Tom Cruise for five years before she ran screaming and flailing from the house.

I used to be obsessed with gallery walls and wanted to put them everywhere. But I’m sort of getting tired of them and now I just want enormous paintings everywhere. Collected gallery walls have their place, but you just can’t beat a big ass painting.

This is what the bedroom looks like now. I made this painting for Matthew Lanphier but now I kind of want it for myself. I hate it when that happens.

I had to put the painting in my bedroom because I loved it so much I wanted to sleep with it. Wink.

I’m also experimenting with having this gigantic cactus in my bedroom. I know it’s terrifying, but I love how sculptural it is. Plus, I grew it from a baby and I’m really proud of how big it’s gotten. I’ve had it since I was sixteen. Which wont be any consolation when it falls over on my face one night while I’m sleeping and I have to wear a Phantom of the Opera mask for the rest of my life.

How pretty is this succulent? The bright color makes me so happy I want to bite it in half.

A fun fact about me is that I am dating a convict and he stole this succulent and gave it to me. Part of that story is true (but I wont tell which part).

Like most modern homosexuals, I like to casually display books and plants to let people know that I not only love literature, I also love nature.

I made this piece for my kitchen. You really can’t go wrong with a pink painting. Ever.

I found this mask at Goodwill for $5 and fell in love with it. I have no idea where it’s from because I’m not a professional anthropologist but it looks like it could be from Mexico.

Perhaps I haven’t solved the issues of boredom and isolation that come with working from home, but at least I have a few more things to ogle while I do. And what is the point of life if it isn’t to sit by yourself, ogling the objects around you that will never be able to replace actual human companionship?

Love,
Orlando

24 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Californiatimez, Collecting, Design, Interiors

by Orblogdo | 1 March 2012 · 8:05 am

What I Do When I’m Left Alone (I’m Scared)

Dear Diary,

Do you know what normal people do when they are left alone? They watch movies, make soup, and pet their dogs. I, on the other hand, rearrange my entire apartment on a daily basis. In fact, just yesterday I woke up and realized the that my bedroom needed a little bit of attention. So naturally I spent the next three hours rearranging the top of my dresser (which is ugly, by the way, needs to be lacquered in a hip color but I can’t decided what). Below are the results of my playtime.

Here is what the top of my dresser looked like before:

Here’s what that same surface looked like after I went crazy rearranging it and spray painting that little filing thing gold. To be honest, I have no idea if it’s any better than it was before. But rearranging it made my life feel more meaningful. Which is something I’d talk to my therapist about if I had one.

I love this Yoshitomo Nara toy (on the left). For the most part I tried to stick with aqua, green, white, and gold. You know, because normal all guys have color-coordinated accessories on top of their dressers.

This is a little table I have in my bedroom. It belonged to my great-great-great-great grandmother, who got the wood to make it from George Washington when he cut down that cherry tree. Or something. Anyhonk, this is what it looked like before I changed it:

And here is what it looks like now:

Impressive, right? [Insert cricket noise]

You know, I have to admit that restyling these surfaces made me realize that I like nicknacks a little bit too much. All I want to do all day is stare at beautiful, interesting objects. And books. I’m also obsessed with things like my Whole Earth Catalogue, which I stare at every day while I fantasize about living in the 60s (which by the way I could never do because I hate body hair and flared pants).

Yes, I moved that ceramic spherical sculpture by my friend Suzanne so I could stare at it in the morning. Sometimes I give it a little kiss to let it know how much I care.

So yeah, that’s my thing. Rearranging stuff for hours for no apparent reason. (I’m scared).

Love,
Orlando

11 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Collecting, D.I. Why?, Design, Interiors, Welcome to my home

by Orblogdo | 10 January 2012 · 7:10 am

I Am A Teenage Girl From Japan Who Likes Weird Things

Dear Diary,

Like many teenage girls in Japan, I love all things graphic, bright, and cartoony. Yesterday, I went on a crazy shopping spree at Target and was reminded how much I like cartoon-inspired objects. In particular, I was struck by a mug in the shape of a whale (which happened to be in my favorite color aqua). It titillated me because I find it both revolting and completely necessary. At first I thought it was too cheesy and disgusting to buy, but then I thought to myself that if I saw it at Cerealart, I’d totally want it. This mug cost me $3.99 and it was worth every penny. I liked it so much I bought one for myself and one for a new friend (who threw it in the garbage as soon as I left her apartment. Probably). Can you imagine not being filled with joy whilst drinking from this ridiculous mug?

Target has some other weird/cute stuff right now, including this cookie jar. That mama elephant looks like she’s about to eat her baby.

This candy jar terrifies me. Thus, I want it.

I’m a fan of Takashi Murakami and Yoshitomo Nara, which probably explains why I like these weird, subversive cartoony objects so much. In fact, I have both these Nara pieces in my apartment:

Cute Clock.

Cute puppy in a teacup.

If you aren’t familiar with Cerealart, you should check them out. They sell all sorts of glamourous artist editions and a ton of fun objects (including those below) made by artists whose actual work is too expensive for, like, anyone to afford.

I like this adorable brass tooth by David Shrigley.

Also, I need this sign by Maurizio Cattelan:

Keith Haring coasters. Gimme.

If I smoked I’d totally want this ashtray by Yoshitomo Nara.

I guess the moral of the story is that I love weird cartoony objects. And so should you.

Love,
Orlando

7 Comments

Filed under Collecting, Fun Finds, The Artz

by Orblogdo | 14 November 2011 · 6:23 pm

Experimenting With Art Walls

Dear Diary,

I have a gallery wall in my living room. The other day I looked at it and got bored so I decided to play around with it. I’m actually not sure I like the changes I made but I’m going to share them with you anyway, Diary, because you’re always there for me and you never let me down. Anyhoo, here are some before pictures:

Sidenote: How rad is my Lands’ End tote? I just got it and I’m kind of obsessed.

To stir things up, I nixed the mid century architectural drawing and added an ugly painting I made last week. I actually like the painting and I think it ads a bit more of a modern look since it’s not in a frame and is a little more graphic on the wall. Here are some after photos.

Here are a few close ups of some of my favorite pieces. I found this one at a flea market.

I don’t really know what Mickey is up to here, but I love him so I love this piece.

Across the room, I replaced another one of my paintings with the architectural drawing from the gallery wall.

So, in conclusion I’m not 100% sure my apartment looks any better. It’s just different and exciting. And sometimes when you start to feel your house getting stale, you should shake things up a bit, right?

Love,
Orlando

6 Comments

Filed under Collecting, Interiors

by Orblogdo | 18 August 2011 · 3:21 am

Collecting: My Parents’ House

Dear My Mom,

During this glorious visit to Yosemite, I have been enjoying ogling all the tiny items you’ve collected over the years. I admit to thinking some of them were cheesy in the past, but now that I’ve entered into a world of object-seeking, I’ve gained a new appreciation for the nuance of your collection of artworks and objects from around the world.

Let’s get started with your crazy sheep collection. Who could resist these cuties?

I’ve always loved this old tansu that grandma got while you guys were living in Japan (sidenote to readers: my mother spent her formative years in Japan which is probably the reason there is so much Japanese stuff in my parents’ house).

Both these pieces are mine: a David Beckham print from my Cornell buddy Blake and a FujiPole (that I obtained whilst climbing Mt. Fuji with my mom in 2001).

This is kind of a lame picture but I love this plant. I don’t know what it’s called but I know they sell them at Mickey Hartigay’s Plants in West Hollywood and they cost more than I care to spend on a weird-looking plant.

My mother loves a dried hydrangea, and I must admit its washed out color meshes well with this bright vignette.

I made this painting. Jealous?

Some of my mother’s kokeshi dolls.

My favorite plate. I used to try to imitate the pissed-off look in that dude’s face.

The head from a kokeshi doll. Sidenote: what’s the deal with decapitated doll heads trending as design objects right now? Or is that just an LA thing?