Category Archives: Drawingtimez

Whut Glamour: New Painting for the Dining Room!

Dear The Painting I Just Made,

My friend and fellow designer Matthew Lanphier commissioned me to make you for one of his clients recently, and here are the results.

I have been painting waves since graduate school, but none have had this crazy sense of movement and noise. Here is a view of the painting hanging in my dining room.

I have to admit, I kind of you want to keep you in my apartment, Painting, and never let you go. I’ll miss you, but I am comforted that you will be loved in your new home in Chicago…

Love,
Orlando

PS: I can’t stand the DISGUSTING color of my walls. They definitely need to be painted soon…

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Drawingtimez: Martha Marcy May Marlene

Dear Movie Lovers,

I forced a friend to go see Martha Marcy May Marlene recently. It was probably the most despicable act I’ve ever committed in my life. Every review I saw for the film was positive. However, this is actually what the film did to my friend and me:

If you’re interested in viewing the trailer, here you go!

In conclusion, I must acknowledge that Martha Marcy May Marlene is a great movie. It is completely well-made and gorgeous and haunting (Sidenote: awesome production design and cinematography). I just wish that I’d never, ever seen it because it traumatized me irreparably and caused my friend to hate my guts. Don’t go see this movie. Unless you have a friend you’re trying to get rid of.

Love,
Orlando

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Drawingtimez: Waterhead

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Drawingtimez: Ew!

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Are You Vegan? Or Racist?

Dear Human,

Do you ever wish there was a better way to describe things as “awesome” or “lame”? Well, I’ve thought of a new system. Actually my brother thought of it like tens years ago and now I’m sharing it with you. Basically, anything good and righteous should be referred to as “vegan.” Anything lame and vile is “racist.” These are good descriptives because what could be worse than a racist? Or more righteous and awesome than a vegan? I may eat whole animals and blocks of cheese, but I still consider myself a vegan. In spirit at least. I used to be a real vegan but then I stopped caring about it so I gave it up. Maybe someday when I move to a cabin in the woods and grow all my own food I’ll be a vegan again. Or not. All I know is that I like the idea of it (better for the environment, more humane, etc). Just because I’m not a vegan anymore doesn’t mean I can’t use the word for good. Thus, I make statements such as “Did you see they put ‘My So-Called Life’ on Hulu? That’s so vegan!” and “Ugh! This hot weather is so racist. I can’t even go outside!” And so on. Try and use those words in a sentence today. You’re welcome.

Love,
Orlando

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Drawing of the week: Michael Stipe

 

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Drawing of the Week: This is the Worst Dress I’ve Ever Worn!

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Whut Glamour: HRC Benefit Sale & Auction

Dear HRC,

Thanks for hosting that glamorous auction/sale at LDC Home the other night. It was an honor to have my paintings shown alongside all the beautiful works selected for the exhibition. The night was filled with snobby designers, gay hotties, and a luxurious supply of appetizers and cocktails. Here are some of the things I saw:

This installation of great antique pieces by Adam Straus served as the entry to the event.

Who doesn’t love horse art?

This collection of small drawings was by far my favorite piece in the show. I found out later it was done by my friend Johnny. I think I’m going to buy one or two of these. They are filled with so much love, tenderness, and humor (kind of like me).

This photo/chandelier moment was too ridiculous to pass up.

I liked this artist a lot, but most of his work was too NSFW to post on this site, which I like to imagine is being read as bedtime stories to little tykes everywhere.

 

 

And here are a few of my contributions (I forgot to get installation pics).

It was a glamourous night, filled with some of my favorite people in Los Angeles. The evening raised thousands for HRC and served as a great get together for the LA design community. Fun.

Love,

Orlando

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Drawingtimez: Making Waves

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Drawingtimez: Am I Convincingly Skinny?

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