Category Archives: Gimme

by | 11 October 2012 · 6:30 pm

From Rags To Riches: 1970s Chairs

Dear Ugly Chairs I Found in September,

When I first gazed upon your ugliness, I knew you could be beautiful. So I bought you and reupholstered you in gorgeous grey canvas. Here is what you looked like before:

And here you are now:

I love that you are both slouchy and tailored, tufted and structural.

The cost breakdown is as follows:

2 Chairs from Sunbeam Vintage: $150

4 Yards grey canvas from International Silks and Woolens: $50

Upholstery labor costs: $160

Total: $360

Not bad for a pair of totally unique, high-quality chairs. If you don’t feel like going through all this just for a pair of chairs, you can always buy these from me on Hipswap. Just a suggestion…

Love,
Orlando

Here is the link to my Hipswap shop in case you want to look around…

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5 Comments

Filed under Around The Apartment, Buy Me, Collecting, Do It Yourself!, Fun Finds, Furniture, Gimme, I Bought Something

by | 21 September 2012 · 2:59 pm

Instagramz: Reupholstered Chair

Dear Diary,

I got this chair upholstered for a client. I had it covered in glamourous navy blue velvet and now I’m obsessed with it. The kind of obsessed where I want to wait outside its apartment to see if it walks out, just so I can ask it for its autograph. Would it be rude to steal it back from the client?

Love,
Orlando

9 Comments

Filed under Clients, Design, Fun Finds, Gimme, Instagramz

by | 5 September 2012 · 7:10 pm

I’d Like To Rub These Tiles All Over My Face. And Yours.

Dear Homeowners,

Do you ever find yourself staring at your boring white tile, wondering why you’re wasting your life on such blandness? Well, you should be. Adding a bit of hand painted glamour to a room is guaranteed to make you at least 16% happier. Just look at this boring white kitchen made fun with a pop of color in the tile over the stove. Also, that little boy is drinking whiskey, don’t tell anyone.

Tile may not be the warmest, most inviting material to rest your feet on, but it sure is pretty to look at.

If this were my bathroom floor I’d spend every day of my life rolling around on it, thinking about how lucky I was to have such a gorgeous floor to roll around on.

If this were my backsplash I’d be a woman. A really cool woman.

I took a field trip recently to check out some tiles at the Pacific Design Center. Tile is the kind of material you have to see in person to appreciate, especially if it’s the hand-painted Moroccan variety, which I’ve decided is my favorite.

These lovely tiles come from Creative Environments at the PDC.

These exciting examples are from Claesson Koivisto for Marrakech Design. I want to rub them all over my face forever and ever.

Kismet Tile, a Los Angeles company, makes these crazy/amazing geometric designs.

So hurry. You only live once. And time is limited to cover every surface in your whole entire house with luxurious hand-painted tiles.

Love,
Orlando

4 Comments

Filed under California, Gimme, Interiors

by | 26 June 2012 · 7:40 pm

All I Want For My Birthday Is Everything.

Dear Friends, Family, and Internet Strangers,

In about a week, I am going to turn 30 years old. I’ve been freaking out about a little bit. Not because I am scared of getting older. I’ve always liked older people more than younger people (Young people are idiots, am I right? I’ve always hated them). The main reason for my freak out is that when I was little I thought being 30 meant being a total grown up and I still feel like I have the maturity level of Raven Simone’s beloved namesake on That’s So Raven (unfortunately for me, however, I can’t see into the future). To make myself feel better about having the maturity of a toddler at age 30, I decided to compile the most ridiculous birthday wish list ever. Because if I have learned anything from Extreme Makeover Home Edition, it’s that materialism solves all of life’s problems. Yay!

Here we go!

1. iPhone case from Exovault. $185.

Remember when phones used to cost, like, $99? Well now just the case costs twice that. But honestly, once you see how pretty this brass/wood case is how could you not want it? The only bummer is that when they replace the new iPhone with a new one this summer, your ridiculously pricey case will be obsolete. Perhaps a good reason to keep your current iPhone forever…

2. Birds of North America t-shirt from Etsy. $15.

You know I would totally wear this without irony. And everyone would be happy.

3. New Shoes from Toms. $69.

It’s important to be comfortable in your own shoes, especially if you’re uncomfortable about turning 30.

4. Leather Holdall from Mulberry. $1850.

Because everyone should put their sweaty disgusting gym clothes in a $2000 bag.

5. Converse Jack Purcell. $80.

These cute shoes make me want to dance on a boat.

6. Boots from H By Hudson. $199.

I need these because my other H by Hudson boots have gotten so much use that they now look like hobo boots, exposed toes and all.

7. Anthology of a Decade by Hedi Slimane. $550.

I love Hedi. Thus, I deserve this $550 collection of his photographic anthologies. Not really.

8. Art by Carl Van de Roer. $Expensive.

I want these amazing photographs so that I can stare at them every day and think about my future.

9. Wool Cable Knit Rug from Rugs USA. $878.

Doesn’t this look luxurious? Wouldn’t you want to wiggle your toes in it every morning? Or rub your face all over it? Or phrase all of you statements as questions?

10. Bicycle from Bianchi. $1900.

I have wanted this bike forever, but I never noticed it came in my signature color. Until now. Need.

11. White Lacquer Bookshelves from CB2. $499.

This shelf is begging to live in my dining room. Please, don’t make it beg anymore…

12. A New Car from Volvo. $33,000.

Because every man should receive a MotherMobile for his 30th.

13. Tank Watch from Cartier. $5500.

I’ve wanted this watch since I was 16. I’m told it looks ladylike but I don’t care, I think it’s classic. Like my rugged American features.

14. Swim Trunks from Warriors of Radness. $68.

Palm Trees + Aqua = My Ideal Swimsuit

15. Custom-Fit Solid Oxford from Polo Ralph Lauren. $98.

I love these. I bought a pink one about 9 years ago and it still looks great. A staple for any preppy wardrobe.

16. Photograph by David Benjamin Sherry. $20,000.

A. I love color. B. This picture of my hometown. C. Why didn’t I think of this?

17. Vintage Interview Magazine from Ebay. $29.

I have a thing for vintage Interview Magazines. Especially ones that were released when Warhol was still alive (sidenote: did you know he started that magazine?). Totally amazing cover art and ridiculous 80s celebrity interviews and editorials.

18. Multicolored Mixing Bowl Set from the Moma Store. $34.95.

I need mixing bowls that secretly advocate the Homosexual Agenda by referencing the rainbow flag.

19. Down Sweater from Patagonia. $200.

Because the only thing better than staying warm is knowing that everyone else knows your jacket was expensive.

20. Giants Cap from 59Fifty. $21.

I want this. Mainly to appease my Giants-oriented family, who is outraged at my LA Dodgers cap accessorizing. Also, that gold is pretty delightful.

21. Japanese Inspired Wall Sculpture from Monument. $2800.

I saw this in San Francisco at Monument’s incredible store and fell in love. Totally weird and 60s, but hey, in 30 more years I’ll be totally weird and 60s, too.

22. Circular Mirror from Organic Modernism. $275.

Round mirrors make you happy. It’s a scientific fact.

23. Zip Up Leather Jacket from Vince. $975.

I don’t own a leather jacket. Which really is a travesty. I have an imitation leather jacket from Zara that my mom likes to call “that plastic jacket.” My life is so hard. Help me, please!

24. Pencils from Paper Pastries. $11.

I want to go back to writing everything by hand. With these pencils. That celebrate California, our great Golden State.

25. Seersucker Placemats from West Elm. $14.

Yeah, I know, boring! But I really love hosting dinner parties and I have no placemats. I thought these were pretty adorable.

26. Blue Swim Trunks from Olasul. $130.

I also want those abs for my 30th birthday but I’m not sure I can pull that off in a week…

27. All-Clad Cookware Set from Williams-Sonoma. $1600.

I want these pots and pans so I can have another thing to obsessively scrub after dinner.

28. A Subscription to Flaunt Magazine. $190.

I have loved this magazine since I was a teenager. But why is the subscription SO expensive? I heard it’s because they use pure gold instead of paper to print it.

29. Brass Bottle Opener from OK. $40.

Because using an ugly bottle opener is for twentysomethings.

30. House/Studio Space/Artist Commune, Offered Up By Sotheby’s. $5,750,000.

I want this giant house so I can start an artist commune where I’d make everyone change their names to Ezekial and they’d have to earn their keep by tilling the organic farm. Then we make paintings together and have activist knitting circles where we’d talk about how to get George Bush out of office (we’d have no TV or internet, so we’d have no way of knowing what was going on in the news). This house would definitely complete my life.

I hope this post has taught you about the importance of conspicuous consumption and how buying me things will make me feel okay about turning 30. I will be writing soon about my uber top secret birthday plans, which include drinking wine whilst sitting on a log and running though the fields of Yosemite staring at the stars. Because that’s what 30 year olds do.

Love,
Orlando

10 Comments

Filed under Gimme, Hot Couture, True Love

by | 13 June 2012 · 3:39 pm

Whut Glamour: Tham & Videgård

Dear Swedish Architecture Firm Tham & Videgård,

I discovered you a few weeks back when I was researching tree houses. You made this awesome treehouse:

Not only do you design glamourous tree houses, you also design modern, exciting homes for lucky, beautiful rich people. Below are a selection of my favorites.

House K

This one is pretty minimal, cold, and scary from the outside, but looks modern and delightful from the inside.

Nora

I’ve always dreamed of living in a little box like this one.

Garden House

This house is genius because it takes something kinda depressing (lattice), blows up the scale, and turns it into an unexpected design element.

House Karlsson

This is the little barn I’ve always wanted except way smarter. I love the red and all the fun skylights.

Archipelago House

This is their best house by far. It’s a way sleeker version of that Sonoma County House I really want.

Anyway, I’ll take one of each. Thanks so much.

Love,
Orlando

2 Comments

Filed under Architecture, Design, Gimme, Real Estate, Whut Glamour!

by | 22 May 2012 · 9:34 pm

Tree Houses For Your Spouses

Dear Treehouses,

I’ve always wanted to live in one of you. I had no idea how many other people had treehouse fetishes until I started researching the topic. There are some crazyamazing treehouses out there. Here are some of the more exciting ones:

This is classic treehouse. It’s rustic and woodsy. Like my soul.

This treehouse is all “Forget everything you thought you knew about treehouses, I’m an urban girl!”

This one looks like an alien. So does your mom.

I love the floor-length window. I’d live in there.

This one is so cute and classic, like a little tiny East Coast birdhouse…

I love that this treehouse includes indoor/outdoor space. So warm and inviting.

I don’t know if this technically qualifies as a birdhouse, but it certainly does dialogue with all the trees. Me likey.

This looks like a treehouse where a witch would live.

Someday, when I live in the middle of the woods, I am going to have a guest house that looks just like this.

This one is way more basic than the others, but I would have killed for it when I was a kid.

How cute and romantic is this one? I want to throw a dinner party in there.

I love how this treehouse looks like it’s floating. In fact, is this treehouse floating? I can’t tell…

Someday, I want to live in a giant onion/cacoon  made out of wood, stuck to a tree.

And now for the winner of the Best Treehouse Ever In The History Of Time Award. I can’t believe how much I want this one. It’s made out of mirrors. It sits amongst the trees, like a ghostly box. It was designed by a Swedish firm called Tham & Videgård. I’m sure there are piles of dead birds outside this thing, but it might be worth it considering how gorgeous it is.

The one-way mirrors allow like to come in and people to see out.

I’m pretty sure this is just a rendering, but I’d like to put it on my face.

Now I am going to fantasize about treehouses. Perhaps instead of buying a real house one day I will just get a treehouse instead. Then I will become a crazy hermit and when people come by to visit I’ll pull up the rope ladder and scream at them about how the world is ending. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do…

Love,
Orlando

8 Comments

Filed under Design, Fun In Nature, Gimme