Category Archives: Real Estate

Whut Glamour: Tham & Videgård

Dear Swedish Architecture Firm Tham & Videgård,

I discovered you a few weeks back when I was researching tree houses. You made this awesome treehouse:

Not only do you design glamourous tree houses, you also design modern, exciting homes for lucky, beautiful rich people. Below are a selection of my favorites.

House K

This one is pretty minimal, cold, and scary from the outside, but looks modern and delightful from the inside.

Nora

I’ve always dreamed of living in a little box like this one.

Garden House

This house is genius because it takes something kinda depressing (lattice), blows up the scale, and turns it into an unexpected design element.

House Karlsson

This is the little barn I’ve always wanted except way smarter. I love the red and all the fun skylights.

Archipelago House

This is their best house by far. It’s a way sleeker version of that Sonoma County House I really want.

Anyway, I’ll take one of each. Thanks so much.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under Architecture, Design, Gimme, Real Estate, Whut Glamour!

My So-Called Apartment Building

Dear Reader

In an old apartment building in Hollywood, not covered in vines, lived twelve little gay guys, in two straight lines.

…Well, not really, but you get the picture. I live in this crazy apartment building where a lot of my friends happen to live and as you can imagine, it is filled with titillating gay drama, glamourous rooftop parties, and devious boyfriend stealing. I moved here last year after admiring the building for years. Mainly because it’s the best color ever, mint green, which totally goes with the mid-century style of the building. It was built in 1949 and hasn’t had much updates since, which probably endangers my life greatly, but is sure pretty to look at. The building sits near the border of West Hollywood, but is technically in Hollywood. This is good because it means it’s just fancy enough that I can walk around without getting stabbed (hopefully) but just gritty enough that I can tell people I live in Hollywood and they will be a little scared and wonder if I am a drug dealer and/or thief (Sidenote: I am neither, unless you count stealing America’s heart as thievery). I know most people don’t aspire to live in kitschy apartment buildings, but I must say I’m thankful for my place every day. It’s very warm and inviting and feels like home.

My favorite thing about the building is its palm trees. One sits right outside my window and greets me every morning.

Strangely, I also love the power lines outside. Even though they are probably, like, giving me cancer as we speak. Rude.

I love all the original railings on the building. So simple and geometric.

The cathedral windows look slightly strange from the outside of the building but are a dream on the inside because they provide floor-to-ceiling light. It’s illegal to install them now because they kill you instantly in an earthquake. Or something. I think I just made that up.

Don’t you love the lush landscaping combined with the crazy power lines?  Like Hannah Montana, it truly is the best of both worlds.

My street, nestled at the base of the Hollywood Hills, is pretty cute too. Lots of mid-century apartment buildings and vast green lawns (which by the way are native to Los Angeles and not at all a disastrous waste of water).

Everything is minty aqua green, just like in my complexion every time I hear that Gotye song that they are totally playing into the ground right now. Gotye, your song is somebody that I wish I used to know.

This is our pool, where daily drama occurs. Usually involving someone accusing someone else of stealing his boyfriend, which is followed by a martini being thrown in someone’s face and the other one getting thrown in the pool screaming, “You’re dead to me!” Actually that never happens but I would be so much happier if it did.

This is my upstairs neighborfriends’ deck. They had custom stripe cushions made in classic black and white. Luxury.

Because California has some of the prettiest sunsets on earth, our rooftop provides the perfect place for a nice glass of wine at dusk..

I hope you enjoyed these images of my apartment’s exterior. A wise person once said not to judge a book by it’s cover. But in the case of my apartment, I’m glad I did.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under California, Californiatimez, Hollywood Diary, Hollywoodtimez, Real Estate

Hey House, I Want You!

Dear Diary,

I was browsing Sonoma County real estate the other day, as I often do, when I came across my dream home. It’s crazy, it’s asymmetrical, it’s made of redwood, it’s in the middle of the forest. It’s everything I want. It’s located in Healdsburg, California, which is an adorable town in wine country. And the price is right ($292,000 vs. neighboring properties for 6 million). It’s on 3.2 acres, has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and is on a road that my sister-in-law refers to as “the most beautiful road in Sonoma County.” Oh, and it’s a total piece of junk and it’s falling down and disgusting inside, which I guess is why it’s so cheap. But that’s the problem with being a designer. Instead of seeing the gross pile of rubble that stands before us, we hallucinate and see the fantasy house that could be. This happens to Emily and I a lot. We’ll show clients a totally disgusting sofa that needs to be reupholstered and completely remade and to us it looks totally beautiful because we’re seeing the final product. But to everyone else it just looks like a piece of junk fit for a hobo. That’s kind of what’s happening with this house. Everyone I show it to looks at me like I’m crazy, but I know I could make this house into something awesome. Here are some images of the house as is:

That sloping roof. Swoon.

The garage just needs a new door and for that basketball hoop to go away.

This is the living room. Total gut job. Needs new crisp white drywall and perhaps some kind of treatment on the ceiling (I’d do wood slats or something earthy). I’d also extend the windows to the ceiling. Why not, right?

I die for these mid-century California lines. Gimme!

Look at this deck. Oh, the glamorous Northern California parties that could be had out there. Dreams.

When I see the above dilapidated Sonoma County house, I am reminded of this glamorous project by William O’ Brien:

Angles + Light = Love

I think what I love so much is how dramatic the shape is. It warms my heart to imagine living in there.

In conclusion, if you’re sitting around wondering what to do with that extra $292,000 you have lying around, please buy me this house so I can make it into the glamorous woodland abode it deserves to be. In return you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that it wasn’t torn down to build a McMansion in the heart of one of California’s most desirable locales. Yay?

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under California, Californiatimez, Exteriors, Interiors, Real Estate, The Golden State