Category Archives: Worktimez

My So-Called Client: “Jon”

Dear Everyone,

When I meet new people they often ask me what I do. As soon as I start to answer, they regret asking. My response to this question is always long-winded and tiresome. Firstly, I work for TV’s Emily Henderson (and yes, I always insert the “TV’s” in front of her name, even when addressing her directly). We work on TV stuff, blog stuff, and marketing stuff. I also have my own blog, work on film, TV, and photo shoots, and have my own design clients. So I do a lot of different things and I love all of them. If you ask me what I want to do when I grow up, I’ll tell you. All I want to do when I grow up is everything.

That being said, my passion lies in creating beautiful compositions. Whether they be at a client’s house or on a canvas. I am starting to sound like a cheesy brochure for myself. I just want everyone to know why I’m all of the sudden talking about design clients when before I was talking about gay bodies and searching for the perfect shelving unit.

I have this new client that lives in a gorgeous 1920s apartment in Hollywood. I’m going to call him “Jon” for the purpose of this post. He’s a successful writer and a super nice guy. He happens to write for/produce one of my very favorite television shows so I’m always trying my hardest not to quote it to him when we are meeting (I can’t tell you what show because I’ve promised to keep his identity top secret. Anyone who knows me knows that keeping a secret is nearly impossible for me so this might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life).

Jon’s apartment is totally beautiful. It’s full of character and has tons of gorgeous detail in the moulding. Luckily, the apartment is already painted a pretty color.

According to my scientific calculations, it’s Benjamin Moore Oyster Shell, which is a lovely warm grey color:

This is the living room before he moved in, with the previous tenants’ furniture.

How much do you love that detail in the doorway? I love it so much I want to bite it. And then wear it as a hat. And then take it home to meet my parents.

The crown moulding is a little bit ornate, but we are going very simple and clean with furnishings so the contrast will be nice with the building’s traditional flourishes.

Depending on how we are doing on budget, we might change out this chandelier. It’s beautiful, but a little too small. To me it screams, “Gurl, let’s have some tea with the ladiez!” Which isn’t exactly what you want in a cool bachelor pad inhabited by a hip dude.

Again, this is the furniture from the previous tenant. We are going to be doing the same basic layout though, with a chair and reading lamp situation next to the fireplace.

I’m planning on doing a fun decal in the non-functional fireplace. I like these three:

This is the bedroom but we are going to use it as the writing/music studio. Like me, Jon has many interests which vary from writing hit TV shows to composing his own music. Sidenote: why wasn’t I born with any musical talent? I hate everything.

The apartment has a ton of beautiful windows and so much pretty natural light.

Now onto things I want to buy for Jon. Firstly, this thing:

Okay, I didn’t actually buy it. But it’s ridiculous, right? I can’t decide if it’s ridiculous in a good way or ridiculous in a bad way. I found it at Wertz Brothers.

We got this table from HD Buttercup. Jon likes things that are quirky and unique, so this table ($950) fit the bill perfectly.

We paired the dining table with these mid-century dining chairs. $400 for the set of 4 from Modcrib:

The upholstery on the chairs looks great, but we might have them upholstered in a more vibrant color if we can fit it into the budget.

Because Jon just moved from New York and had zero furniture, we also needed to get him a sofa. He wanted a big comfortable sectional. I wanted clean lines. Our needs met with this piece from Blueprint Furniture. It’s called the Garamond Sectional and it’s a steal at $1199.

Jon loves mid-century, so he was attracted to this vintage piece from Modcrib. $375.

We nabbed this piece for $200 at Sunset Bazaar.

We are using it in the dining room, topped with this lamp from West Elm.

I bought him this awesome rug from Rugs USA for $350.

I found these great wingback chairs ($150/pair) at Modcrib. They have a great, classic shape and a few interesting details that make them more exciting than your average wingback.

I had the chair upholstered in glamorous velvet from Home Fabrics in disgusting Downtown Los Angeles. I used to love the idea of downtown LA. But if you go down there to look at fabrics and buy drapery rods, it’s like hell on earth. It always smells like hot dogs and it’s always 145 degrees (even in winter). There are some trendy parts of Downtown, but those are mostly ridiculously overpriced condos surrounded by homeless encampments. [End rant]. Anyway, sometimes you just have to go Downtown. Mainly when you want to get glamourous velvet for $17.95 a yard. And that makes it worth it.

The price breakdown for these chairs was as follows:

Original Price: $75
Fabric (4 yards for each chair): $80
Uphostery labor: $320

Total: $475

I know that doesn’t sound super cheap, but I dare you to find a chair of that quality that will last as long for $475. These will last forever and the shape and color is so classic that they will only get better with age as they get more worn, cozy, and tattered.

I bought this high boy for the bedroom. $200 from Pepe’s Thrift Shop. Sidenote: Sometimes I wear tank tops to work. So what?!? Who cares.

Unfortunately that mirror won’t hang horizontally so I bought this delightful “O” mirror from Wertz Brothers ($60):

I found this coffee table at TINI. $275.

Red is not in our color pallet, so the plan right now is to paint the coffee table Bunker Hill Green from Benjamin Moore:

This is also from TINI. I haven’t bought it yet because it’s expensive but I love it.

I got these bedside tables for the master bedroom. $95 each from TINI.

Finally I found this beautiful old box for $200. It’s super old and aged (just like my face after a weekend of pool parties and margaritas). I found it at Wertz Brothers and immediately knew I had to have it. It’s going to rest at the end of Jon’s bed.

For the hallway, I founds this burl console table. I actually bought this from myself on my Hipswap shop. I was all “Hey Orlando can I buy that burl table?” and then I was all “Hey, Self, sure!” and then I was like “Hey Orlando can I get a good deal?” and I was all “No” and then I realized I was a terrible person.

I’m probably going to hang a big, graphic piece of art above the console. For now we are using that Frank Lloyd Wright print as a placeholder. The basket is from West Elm. The rug is from Ikea, $25.

There’s still a ton of work to do at Jon’s house. But it’s shaping up quite nicely and I’m glad that we are 90% done with the furniture shopping. I’m excited to get to the next step where I get to start styling everything, hanging art, and making the place look as cool as Jon.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under California, Clients, Fun Finds, Furniture, Worktimez

Whut Glamour: New York

Dear New York,

It was a whirlwind trip visiting you for the first two weeks of May. But I must say I saw a ton of pretty things (and I managed to take a picture of a few of them). Here is a pictorial recap of my trip.

We stayed in an adorable part of Brooklyn (Carroll Gardens) in our friend Ian’s apartment. If I ever move back to New York I think I’ll live in Brooklyn. I’ve never lived there before but it’s way more mellow than Manhattan.

Our first night there we took a little walk in Dumbo. Did you know that “DUMBO” stands for “Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass”? I didn’t.

We shopped the Meeker Avenue Antique and Vintage Market in Williamsburg. We didn’t find anything but it’s always fun to peruse their offerings. Sometimes it’s garbage, sometimes it’s filled with fun finds. This visit was mostly garbagey.

No trip to New York is complete without a trip to Central Park. It’s just classic. Also, it’s the only place in Manhattan you can walk freely without feeling like you’re in a mosh pit of people screaming into their cell phones about what their evening plans are.

On the way to dinner one night I passed this film set. I have no idea what they are filming but it felt like a little slice of home, Hollywood invading the Big Apple.

This was a lovely dinner my friend Misako made for me and some of my old friends from college. Misako is a talented graphic designer who makes glamorous custom invitations, stationery, and business cards. We’ve been friends since grad school and she always makes me feel at home in New York.

She made the most delicious salmon, quinoa, and avocado salad.

New York definitely has more interesting coffee options than Los Angeles. And most of them have really adorable cups like they have at Joe.

I love Fishs Eddy because it reminds me of my mother, who loves it because it reminds her of her grandparents house in Long Eddy, New York. They sell wonderful dinnerware and home goods.

We saw this adorable mirror at an Organic Modern pop up shop in Chelsea.

This was a poem posted in a subway train. I love it a lot.

A trendy Lower East Side pub with a trendy menu with a trendy typeface.

My friend Faris’ fire escape herb garden.

The disco ball DJ booth at David Barton Gym at Astor Place. Because every gym needs a disco ball DJ booth.

A mural on the Lower East Side.

My old apartment in Chelsea, where I went to a dinner with my former roommate and close friend Meaghan.

A ridiculously buttery and delicious French dessert, made by Meaghan.

The view from the Lake House, in Upstate New York.

The adorable Lake House. As someone who fantasizes about living in a barn, it was hard to leave this place. I’m still considering traveling back to squat there illegally, hiding in the basement every time the homeowners come up from the city.

Neon workout gear at Michaels Arts and Crafts store. Whenever I see colors like this my eyes turn into spirals and I can’t turn away. Must. Resist. The. Bright. Colors.

The best Old Fashioned I’ve ever had. Served at Bar Tabac. I drink these because they remind me of someone special. And so can you!

Cute cups at The City Bakery, where the food is “meh!” but the graphic design is “me gusta.”

This image might as well be a scan of my brain, because this is exactly what my internal dialogue looks like.

Schiller’s, Lower East Side. Did you ever notice how waiters in New York are totally mean? Our waiter hated us and made sure we knew it. That being said it was the best dinner I’ve ever eaten in my life (I had the steak frites, smothered in butter. My arteries haven’t been the same since).

I had to take multiple pictures of the sign, because I love the scripty font so much.

Meanwhile, in Sonoma County, California, my niece was doing a cute baby thing by crawling into a basket. I know this is completely unrelated to my New York trip, but it’s totally relevant because she’s the cutest baby in the world. And she’s in a basket. So get into it.

New York was crazy, crazy busy, and crazy fun. Hopefully next time I’ll get to stop and see more sights (my one regret is not seeing The Whitney Biennial). But it felt good to get back to California, back to family, and back to work. The end.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under New York, Whut Glamour!, Worktimez

Outdoortimez in the City

Dear Cities,

You know, I love living in a bustling city filled with people from all over. But lately, I’ve been feeling cooped up. All I do every day is drive around searching for stuff. Which is fun. But sometimes I just want to get away from everything. Normally, when I feel this way I go visit my parents in the forest where I grew up. But work has prohibited getting away lately so I’ve been craving some time away from the crowds, outside in nature. This week, Emily is hosting some web shows for HGTV so I’ve been helping her plan and execute some outdoor makeovers. Luckily, this has provided us the opportunity to play together outside, which is the next best thing to taking a vacation in nature.

Our first stop was a nursery in North Hollywood. Basically, we needed enough plants for two backyards, but our budget was only $1000 so we needed a cheap place to get a boatload of plants. Cut to Emily googling “cheap plants in the valley.” We found a place called Los Pinos Nursery not far from our favorite vintage shops. It’s a beautiful, HUGE nursery filled with big, healthy plants. A word to the wise, if you go to this place you should probably learn to speak Spanish first. Communicating was done primarily by Emily speaking convincingly in Spanish that may or may not have been gibberish (sidenote: her Spanish is 500 times better than mine).

The nursery was so big you had to drive through it. It felt like Jurassic Park.

We used lavender for one of our makeovers. We found it here for $5 a pot. Steal!

We decided to buy some of these beautiful grasses for one of the backyards Emily is decorating. Until the guy working there was all “why are you buying so much garlic?!?” I had no idea garlic looked so much like grass. Lesson learned.

Being around so many plants made me want to sing out loud. But I didn’t. Because that would have been totally gay. Almost as gay as getting excited about going to a plant nursery.

I wore a denim shirt to make it seem like I was ready to do manual labor. (I wasn’t).

Emily named these plants “Dr. Seuss Plants.” We are both noted botanists, renowned for our understanding of plants.

Palm trees and power lines always make great silhouettes. It’s a fact of life.

In case you are in the market, Los Pinos Nursery also sells huge piles of dirt. Yay!

One of the backyard makeovers Emily designed involved using stumps. We found stumps at Alpine Firewood in East Pasadena. Pictured here is Emily looking adorable in front of a huge pile of logs.

This wood yard had piles and piles of firewood. Each stump was $5 – $10. The guys working there thought we were total freaks for caring what the stumps looked like. Also, those stumps weigh about 700 pounds. Luckily we had help launching them into our production van.

So I got my outdoor fix in a weird way this week. It’s not quite the same as stargazing under Yosemite Falls, but for now I’ll take it.

Yay?
Orlando

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Filed under California, Fun In Nature, Vacationz, Worktimez

Hi, High Line!

Dear Travel Journal,

I’ve been swept away to world-famous New York City, where Emily and I are doing a totally glamorous lake house remodel. It’s been a busy trip, with less time for lollygagging and friend hugging than I expected, but I did find time to slip away and ogle the High Line. I used to live a block away from this glorious park so I’ve seen it a million times. But I hadn’t seen it since they added the section north of 21st Street, which is arguably even more stunning than the original section. Please enjoy these photographs I took on a lovely brisk day just as the sun was setting.

I kind of want these shipping container art pieces in my house:

New York is truly a glamourcity.

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under New York, Outdoor Art, Worktimez

NYSee: My Trip in 1 Drawing, 25 Photos, and 1 Genius Music Video

Dear New York,

I came to visit you recently and look what happened:

I took the redeye and awoke bleary-eyed, hopped on the AirTrain (my favorite thing about flying into New York because I love public transit). The first thing I saw when I emerged from the subway was the glorious sun, glinting through the budding trees of Central Park. Very romantic.

After a delightful breakfast with my friend Misako and her husband Doug, I was already itching to get out of the city to one of my favorite places on earth, the Dia:Beacon. So we jumped in the car and drove up through the green countryside, ending up in Beacon, a tiny upstate town with one of the greatest art museums on earth.

Apparently some sort of crazy historical event involving British people, ships, and chains happened at this point on the Hudson River. Don’t ask me what it was…

If you find yourself in New York without a car you can always take a glamourous train ride from Grand Central to Beacon. It’s a relaxing and refreshing way to get out of the city.

This was my favorite work at Beacon, which I quickly snapped before being told not to take any more pictures. It’s by an artist named Imi Knoebel. Anyone who knows me knows I love bright colors and humor in artwork so naturally I fell in love with these immediately.

And Richard Serra, what’s not to love right?

We were lucky enough to arrive just in time for stunning blossoms. Here is Misako being pretty in pink.

I liked this chandelier a lot so I took a photo of it through the window. All the stores were closed because it was Easter so I couldn’t go inside to get a clearer picture. However, I kind of like the pretty clouds overlaid onto the graphic chandelier.

My main reason for traveling to New York was to attend the premiere of The Perfect Family at the Tribeca Film Festival. I was the Assistant Art Director of the film and super excited about how it turned out. Hoping it gets some great distributor so you can all see it soon.

My lovely friend Ryan scored us tickets to see Black Watch at St. Ann’s Warehouse in Brooklyn. It was absolutely riveting and totally blew us out of the water. Usually I hate anything military themed because I don’t like beige and brown (which tend to dominate the costumes and landscapes of military films and plays). But this play was so incredible in its staging, choreography, and use of sound and light that I loved it. At times it felt like a strange modern dance performance. It was utterly unexpected and very refreshing.

This chair is at Anthropologie at Rockefellar Center. I thought it was clever and cute.

If I were a girl and I lived in a treehouse, I’d want these:

Bear Lamp by Urs Fischer.

My biffs from grad school. They run a great non-profit called Boffo and I love and miss them both.

Good ol’ 30 Rockefeller. Never gets old, always makes me hear a little Frank Sinatra song in my head.

It was a quick and completely incredible trip. Always good to step outside one’s current life to visit the past and good old friends.

Love,
Orlando

PS: Since this is the longest post in history, why not include a totally weird/genius youtube video of my favorite New York song:

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Filed under Vacationtimez, Whut Glamour!, Worktimez

Worktimez: The Site Measure.

Dear Homme & Garden TV Viewers,

Ever wonder how Emily magically comes up with the two styles on Secrets From A Stylist? Well, here’s a secret, she thinks about it for months before coming up with the styles she announces on air (i.e. “Mad Men Bohemian” or “Industrial Kitsch Loft”). While she does think of the style names on-air, she often has a good sense of the homeowners’ tastes in her head beforehand. Months before each episode tapes, we do site visits with couples to meet them and figure out exactly what kind of makeover they want. We also measure their house so we can figure out what size drapery to buy and what furniture will fit, etc. Usually these meetings last an hour or so. During these meetings, Emily talks up the family while I run around frantically taking measurements of anything and everything (some floor plans are ridiculously complex and, hey, I’m not an architect!). These meetings are a nice time to get to know the makeover families without all the lights and cameras that make everything just a little bit more awkward. Here are some pictures of me working hard, and hardly working (all photos courtesy of Louis DeBarraicua):

Love,
Orlando

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Filed under Secrets From A Stylist, What Do YOU Do?, Worktimez