Hommemaker

by Orblogdo | 18 June 2012 · 4:09 pm

Californiatimez: Hiking, Cactii, and the Most Amazing Plant Nursery on Earth

Dear Diary,

Last weekend, some gays and I decided to escape the madness that is LA Pride and head to the little town of Fillmore, California to take a hike and discover new things. Naturally, because we are 90z gays, we took a Jeep wrangler, with the top down. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced riding in the back of a Jeep Wrangler, but a word to the wise: don’t ride in the back when it’s cold outside. It’s the coldest you’ll ever be in your whole life. I froze to death and it was really sad. But then I came back to life when the car stopped moving.

Fillmore is an interesting town. And by “interesting” I mean terrifying. It’s the kind of place where you expect to hear dueling banjos play as soon as your gay car enters the town square. I know it sounds like I’m being super judgmental. But that’s just because I am super judgmental (I learned this recently in a personality test). Also, I went to high school in a similarly terrifying town (Mariposa, California) so I know what those places are like and that there is good reason for my overwhelming fears. All this aside, Fillmore has some wonderful sights to see, including this vacant lot:

And lots of pretty (and haunted) abandoned trains. YAY!

And a pretty high school that looks like this:

My high school looked like this:

Coincidence? I think not. I have a lot of fond memories of high school. Mainly of the day I graduated and never went back ever again.

The main reason for our trip to Fillmore was a hike to Tar Creek. The vistas were beautiful, the air fresh, and the hike delightful.

The hike features two main swimming holes, both with ledges for jumping and slides for sliding.

When the opportunity to jump off a 20′ rock into a pool of water arose, the boys got separated from the men. And by that I mean that I was too scared to jump off the rocks because I have a secret fear of heights. So I suppose that makes me a boy and not a man. Which is fine by me.

This is the second, higher, more terrifying waterfall. The guys I was with jumped off it while I ate beef jerkey.

There was even a giardia-laced waterfall to bath in whilst thinking about the meaning of life. It’s a scientific fact that no Gay can resist the urge to frolic in an outdoor waterfall.

The surprise highlight of the trip was the amazing cactus store we discovered on the way home. Cactus Mart sits on the side of the freeway and is the the most amazing cactus nursery in the whole entire world.

The prices were pretty awesome. Definitely worth the drive.

Someday, I want to live in a greenhouse that looks like this.

Our trip to Fillmore was filled with fun and freedom. I’d highly recommend the Tar Creek hike to anyone (just make sure not to go when it’s too hot because there’s, like, no shade anywhere). And for people who love plants, Cactus Mart is kind of a dreamland. Now if only I had a yard for all these cacti…

Love,
Orlando

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5 Comments

Filed under Amazing Gays, California, Californiatimez, The Golden State

by Orblogdo | 13 June 2012 · 3:39 pm

Whut Glamour: Tham & Videgård

Dear Swedish Architecture Firm Tham & Videgård,

I discovered you a few weeks back when I was researching tree houses. You made this awesome treehouse:

Not only do you design glamourous tree houses, you also design modern, exciting homes for lucky, beautiful rich people. Below are a selection of my favorites.

House K

This one is pretty minimal, cold, and scary from the outside, but looks modern and delightful from the inside.

Nora

I’ve always dreamed of living in a little box like this one.

Garden House

This house is genius because it takes something kinda depressing (lattice), blows up the scale, and turns it into an unexpected design element.

House Karlsson

This is the little barn I’ve always wanted except way smarter. I love the red and all the fun skylights.

Archipelago House

This is their best house by far. It’s a way sleeker version of that Sonoma County House I really want.

Anyway, I’ll take one of each. Thanks so much.

Love,
Orlando

2 Comments

Filed under Architecture, Design, Gimme, Real Estate, Whut Glamour!

by Orblogdo | 8 June 2012 · 6:23 pm

Palm Springs Overdose

Dear Reader,

When I was a little boy, obese with braces on my teeth, I used to love whipped cream. We never used the canned kind, my mother always whipped it up the real stuff. I loved it until one day when I went overboard. That day I ate a whole entire bowl of whipped cream by myself. I’ve never been so sick in my life. I’m telling you this story not only to let you know that I was a fat kid, but also to provide a warning to you: too much of a good thing is a bad thing. This is how I’m starting to feel about Palm Springs. I’ve already been four times this year and to be honest, I can’t take it anymore. Its parties are too fun, the heat too hot, and the pools too refreshing. Enough!

That being said I had a wonderful time in Palm Springs over Memorial Day Weekend. A group of friends rented a glamorous house and spent days by the pool, nights by the pool, and late nights at the one horrifying gay bar in Palm Springs, where we danced our lives away like we were characters in the 1990s gay romantic comedy. Did gay romantic comedies exist in the 90s? I hope so.

The drive out to Palm Springs is always beautiful, even when it takes five hours like it did this time (it’s supposed to take two). The light out there is so amazing.

This drink summarizes perfectly the weekend’s activities, which consisted mostly of drinking tropical drinks by the pool whilst talking about our feelings. To make it, add lots of vodka, a splash of soda, muddle with watermelon, and add raspberries, limes, and mint.

This painting was in our mid-century house. I wanted to steal it but I didn’t.

This is the view from the living room. I love that wild tree outside.

How cute is this dog? I tried to pet her but she didn’t like me. Which was a huge blow to my self-esteem.

A friend of mine has these flamingo shorts that I’m obsessed with. Someday I’m going to sneak into his house and steal them while he is sleeping.

The flamingo shorts are from AMBSN. Gimme.

Speaking of swim trunks, these are my favorite right now.

They are from H&M.

This is our pool. Ugly, right?

This is the doorway at a ridiculous pool party we went to for someone’s 40th birthday. It was terribly fun and completely over the top. Me likey.

Another pool party discovery was this moose sculpture. Or is it an elk? Whatever it is it’s cool and I want one for my garden. Even though my garden doesn’t exist because I live in an apartment with no outdoor space. Tears.

I’m not a huge fan of modern, minimal houses but Palm Springs does it best.

A sad, lonely beach ball, perilously close to the cruel spines of the cacti. This must be a metaphor for something but I was too busy talking about gay bodies and the mall to think about it.

Glamourpool with yellow accents. Well played!

The guest house.

The dining room was completely bonkers. And I liked that.

That crazy chandelier. The crazy painting. Those crazy chairs. It’s all awful but in a good way that I want to look at.

This is the spiral staircase every gay boy dreams of walking down on his way to prom with his prom date Ricky Martin.

I like this wallpaper? I think? And the horse head? From Z Gallerie?

The gold piece on the mantle incited a fierce discussion amongst my friends. Them: “It’s ugly.” Me: “It’s prettty.” What do you think?

These cat tapestries were by far the best find of the weekend. They were at another pool party house. Totally genius and I want to wear a coat made from them.

We stopped at the Ace Hotel for lunch on the way home. It’s the perfect place to go if you want to feel like you’re on hipster spring break.

I have a fetish for pretty house numbers, so I snapped this one. Really the only reason to have a house is to have cute numbers on the front.

I think I’ll wait a while before I go to Palm Springs again. It’s lovely and fun, but I don’t want to overdose like I did on whipped cream. That would be terrifying.

Love,
Orlando

12 Comments

Filed under Amazing Gays, California, Californiatimez, Vacationtimez

by Orblogdo | 7 June 2012 · 8:29 pm

Orlando’s Obsession: Tiled Fireplaces

Dear Santa,

I know you love to come down the chimney on Christmas. But let’s be honest, when you emerge through the fireplace, sometimes it’s a bit of a let down. I mean, how many orangey-red bricks can you look at before you want to gouge out your eyeballs with a candy cane? I have a solution for you, Santa. It’s called tiling your fireplace and you’re going to love it. I’ve been thinking about tiled fireplaces lately because Emily and I have a client who wants to add a feminine touch to her fireplace. Tile is a good way to do this, so I’ve been running all over town trying to find samples and gathering ideas of what to do.

I kind of love this shot. The blue is totally bonkers but it goes with the crazy donkey and the crazy electric blue chairs. And the crazy lady painting. This home reminds me of the eccentric auntie I never had.

You can barely see the fireplace in this shot, but I’d die to have one in my dining room. Then whenever a dinner party guest made an inappropriate comment I could threaten to toss him in the fireplace.

Oh wait, even more glamourous than a fireplace in your dining room is a fireplace in your kitchen. I’m scared about what’s happening in this photograph though. Please, Scary Lady, don’t eat the dog!

This isn’t tiled, but I couldn’t resist this mirror. Hay, Mirror!

Okay, there’s no tile here either but how much do you love that horsey painting? Super simple, cute and it totally gives this otherwise boring room some character. Also, Pier 1 called and they want their candles back.

I’m not a huge fan of this shot but I do love this emerald green tile. Also, what’s going on with all that wood in the fireplace? If you started that on fire it would burn down the house and kill everyone. Overzealous styling.

Again, please calm down with the logs.

This pale green is pretty and totally goes with the bright, airy look of the room.

This room is totally for ladies but I love everything. The gold, the chandelier, the patterned fireplace tiles. All gorgeous. Just like each and every one of you. Except you, Donald Trump!

I’m digging this. Tile is such a good opportunity to bring some character, color, and life into a room.

I love this a lot. Pretty colors, insane mirror, flowers in the fire. Totally crazy granny but lovely.

This grey slate is pretty quiet but perfectly styled. Also, somewhere out there a turtle is looking for his house.

Pretty, gleaming, bright white. Just like my skin after a two-week beach vacation.

I’m pretty sure the fireplace imploded right after this shot was taken but this is a beautiful shot. If you never light fires, white is a great option. So clean and bright.

These are a few of my favorite tiles. I’m loving these Moroccan-inspired mosaic tiles. These are from Overstock.com.

Here is a shot of a similar tile installed:

Classic subway tiles in a smaller scale. Kinda adorable. Also from Overstock.com.

Pretty pattern, pretty color, pretty please. From Luxtile.com.

Chevron, I wish I could quit you. From Ann Sacks.

I found these at the PDC. They’re hand glazed terra cotta and totally gorgeous. Each one is unique. Available from Hagan Flynn.

I’m obsessed with that blue color. So pretty.

In short, I’d like to tile my fireplace immediately. But first I have to get a fireplace. Which is where you come in, Santa. My birthday is in less than a month!

Love,
Orlando

4 Comments

Filed under Interiors, Orlando's Obsession

by Orblogdo | 4 June 2012 · 4:49 pm

D.I.Why? Secret Painting Bulletin Board

Dear You,

See this painting? I hope so, it’s right in front of your face.

But guess what? It’s not a painting. It’s a bulletin board. Would you like to know how I made it? Me neither. But I’ll tell you anyway. First, I went to the art supply store where scary artist sales associate helped me find canvas. It costs about $7 a yard. I got mine from Dick Blick.

I used acrylic paint I had leftover from a previous project. It’s a very pretty color of navy blue.

I watered the paint down to give it a tie-dye look. This caused a beautiful watercolor effect, which made me happy.

Now, a word to the wise. Never, under any circumstances, attempt to use this item:

It’s a miter box for a saw that I was trying to use to make a frame. And it’s the hardest thing in the world to use. I tried to use this one, sweating and crying for 45 minutes before I gave up and went over to my friend’s house to have him cut the stupid wood on his chop saw. For the frame of the bulletin board, I used 3/4″ x 3″ pine. And so should you. After cutting the frame I glued the canvas painting onto the bulletin board (which I’d painted blue before in a failed attempt to make it look pretty). I used school glue. Which you can pretty much use for anything.

I mixed the glue with water to thin it down and make an even coat on the bulletin board.

I used wood glue on the back to secure the canvas around the bulletin board.

When everything was dry, I glued the bulletin board into the frame I’d made (I don’t really want to talk about how I made the frame because it’s boring. Basically just screw four pieces of wood together). To attach the frame to the bulletin board I used wood glue, which is incredibly strong even though it smells just like white glue.

Then, I painted the frame white. With flat house paint. I wanted the look to be more matte, so I didn’t use semi-gloss or gloss like I normally would have. Flat paint scuffs up more though, so be ready to maniacally clean if you, too, choose flat paint.

This is what the final product looks like. It’s like a painting, but you can pin things to it. If you’ve ever fantasized about stabbing pins into pieces of art (and who hasn’t?), this is the bulletin board for you. My problem with most bulletin boards is that they are ugly and the cork is a gross color. This bulletin board solves all those problems and then some. So are you sold? Are you making yours yet? Hurry!

Here is the bulletin board with a few things on it. The one I made is actually for a client so the things on it aren’t mine. It still needs much more stuff on it but I thought it would be weird to fill someone else’s bulletin board for them so I left some blank space.

Up close, you can really see how pretty an watery the paint is. Glamour.

And here it is in the office it now calls home.

I hope you all go out and make a bulletin board disguised as a painting now. It’s much more interesting than one that just looks like an ugly old bulletin board.

Love,
Orlando

15 Comments

Filed under D.I. Why?, Design, Do It Yourself!, Interiors, Uncategorized

by Orblogdo | 30 May 2012 · 4:15 pm

Whut Glamour: Boffo Show House

Dear Diary,

I was delighted to open my email this morning and find some images from the latest Boffo exhibition. Boffo is the culture/arts non-profit started by my close friends Faris and Gregory. Their most recent project is an art/design installation called “Show House” that features the work of dozens art artists and designers, each installed into uninhabited apartments on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. The show is open until June 4. So check it out if you’re in New York.

The exhibition space is located at 371 Madison Street and is open from 11 AM to 7 PM daily. More images of the show are available from the website of photographer Evan Joseph.

Love,
Orlando

5 Comments

Filed under Design, Interiors, New York, The Artz

by Orblogdo | 24 May 2012 · 6:45 pm

Think Outside The Box: No Socks

Dear Diary,

Apparently there is a totally exciting new trend involving naked male ankles. I had no idea, always running around wearing my nerdy socks pulled up to my knees. Enjoy these glamourous images of shoes with no socks!

The juxtaposition of a dressy suit with the casual exclusion of socks is a nice one. I guess it is kind of sexy to see a little skin, even if it’s just the ankle.

Love this whole outfit. He looks like a sailor from the high seas, except for with better hygiene and more teeth.

Ugh, I so want to be this kid. All skinny and weird and downtowny. Excuse me while I go do heroin and lose 30 pounds.

Good things about this picture: stacked stone wall in the background, highwater pants, lovely golden countryside, and no socks. Bad things about this picture: that ugly ottoman and that cheesy camera in front of his face.

Hi, I’m glamourous and my hair blows in the wind. Also, I’m too cool for socks.

Someday, I want to look like this.

I’m digging this tinysuit. Also, I want whatever is in that Dean & Deluca bag. I’m starving!

Love,
Orlando

3 Comments

Filed under Fashiontimez, Fashonz

by Orblogdo | 23 May 2012 · 3:51 pm

My So-Called Apartment Building

Dear Reader

In an old apartment building in Hollywood, not covered in vines, lived twelve little gay guys, in two straight lines.

…Well, not really, but you get the picture. I live in this crazy apartment building where a lot of my friends happen to live and as you can imagine, it is filled with titillating gay drama, glamourous rooftop parties, and devious boyfriend stealing. I moved here last year after admiring the building for years. Mainly because it’s the best color ever, mint green, which totally goes with the mid-century style of the building. It was built in 1949 and hasn’t had much updates since, which probably endangers my life greatly, but is sure pretty to look at. The building sits near the border of West Hollywood, but is technically in Hollywood. This is good because it means it’s just fancy enough that I can walk around without getting stabbed (hopefully) but just gritty enough that I can tell people I live in Hollywood and they will be a little scared and wonder if I am a drug dealer and/or thief (Sidenote: I am neither, unless you count stealing America’s heart as thievery). I know most people don’t aspire to live in kitschy apartment buildings, but I must say I’m thankful for my place every day. It’s very warm and inviting and feels like home.

My favorite thing about the building is its palm trees. One sits right outside my window and greets me every morning.

Strangely, I also love the power lines outside. Even though they are probably, like, giving me cancer as we speak. Rude.

I love all the original railings on the building. So simple and geometric.

The cathedral windows look slightly strange from the outside of the building but are a dream on the inside because they provide floor-to-ceiling light. It’s illegal to install them now because they kill you instantly in an earthquake. Or something. I think I just made that up.

Don’t you love the lush landscaping combined with the crazy power lines? Like Hannah Montana, it truly is the best of both worlds.

My street, nestled at the base of the Hollywood Hills, is pretty cute too. Lots of mid-century apartment buildings and vast green lawns (which by the way are native to Los Angeles and not at all a disastrous waste of water).

Everything is minty aqua green, just like in my complexion every time I hear that Gotye song that they are totally playing into the ground right now. Gotye, your song is somebody that I wish I used to know.

This is our pool, where daily drama occurs. Usually involving someone accusing someone else of stealing his boyfriend, which is followed by a martini being thrown in someone’s face and the other one getting thrown in the pool screaming, “You’re dead to me!” Actually that never happens but I would be so much happier if it did.

This is my upstairs neighborfriends’ deck. They had custom stripe cushions made in classic black and white. Luxury.

Because California has some of the prettiest sunsets on earth, our rooftop provides the perfect place for a nice glass of wine at dusk..

I hope you enjoyed these images of my apartment’s exterior. A wise person once said not to judge a book by it’s cover. But in the case of my apartment, I’m glad I did.

Love,
Orlando

10 Comments

Filed under California, Californiatimez, Hollywood Diary, Hollywoodtimez, Real Estate

by Orblogdo | 22 May 2012 · 9:34 pm

Tree Houses For Your Spouses

Dear Treehouses,

I’ve always wanted to live in one of you. I had no idea how many other people had treehouse fetishes until I started researching the topic. There are some crazyamazing treehouses out there. Here are some of the more exciting ones:

This is classic treehouse. It’s rustic and woodsy. Like my soul.

This treehouse is all “Forget everything you thought you knew about treehouses, I’m an urban girl!”

This one looks like an alien. So does your mom.

I love the floor-length window. I’d live in there.

This one is so cute and classic, like a little tiny East Coast birdhouse…

I love that this treehouse includes indoor/outdoor space. So warm and inviting.

I don’t know if this technically qualifies as a birdhouse, but it certainly does dialogue with all the trees. Me likey.

This looks like a treehouse where a witch would live.

Someday, when I live in the middle of the woods, I am going to have a guest house that looks just like this.

This one is way more basic than the others, but I would have killed for it when I was a kid.

How cute and romantic is this one? I want to throw a dinner party in there.

I love how this treehouse looks like it’s floating. In fact, is this treehouse floating? I can’t tell…

Someday, I want to live in a giant onion/cacoon made out of wood, stuck to a tree.

And now for the winner of the Best Treehouse Ever In The History Of Time Award. I can’t believe how much I want this one. It’s made out of mirrors. It sits amongst the trees, like a ghostly box. It was designed by a Swedish firm called Tham & Videgård. I’m sure there are piles of dead birds outside this thing, but it might be worth it considering how gorgeous it is.

The one-way mirrors allow like to come in and people to see out.

I’m pretty sure this is just a rendering, but I’d like to put it on my face.

Now I am going to fantasize about treehouses. Perhaps instead of buying a real house one day I will just get a treehouse instead. Then I will become a crazy hermit and when people come by to visit I’ll pull up the rope ladder and scream at them about how the world is ending. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do…

Love,
Orlando

8 Comments

Filed under Design, Fun In Nature, Gimme

by Orblogdo | 21 May 2012 · 11:47 pm

Orlando’s Obsession: Casper Balslev

Dear Photographer and Music Video Cinematographer Casper Balslev,

I am obsessed with your cool photographs of Los Angeles and your totally amazing music videos that I could just eat with a spoon. I discovered you when I watched the music video for “This Boys In Love” by the Presets. Upon further investigation I found out you not only shot videos for Marina and the Diamonds and a bunch of other fun bands (videos at the end of this post), you also take beautiful photographs. Please enjoy: